Lacking life purpose and good career afraid of losing girlfriend over it

Drvibe · 2013-12-29T19:57:52+00:00

So you want a life purpose so your girlfriend dosen't leave you? I hope she leaves you, so you can actually find your purpose.

_whistler · 2013-12-29T17:32:31+00:00

The biggest problem I see here is that you're 'afraid of losing' your girlfriend. You should always be the higher-value partner, man; not by her standards, by your standards. You've got to find some way to get your head straight with your lifestyle to make this happen.

As far as spending all that free time together - stop. Instead, use some of it to cultivate value in other areas. Study another language, acquire knowledge on some interesting topics, learn some useful skills, try out some DIY projects. Something. Your girl shouldn't be the default way you spend your time.

30303030303030 · 2013-12-29T18:37:15+00:00

I lack direction, dreams, and a passions so deep it gives me a sense of where I want to go with my life.

Very few people have that. Those are the extremely successful ones. Even if you are an idiot the power of pure interest and passion will make you an expert. Imagine not getting bored or tired with work/learning. You finish work but you keep working because you enjoy it. You can't compete with that going there just for a paycheck.

I don't have it either, I'm switching jobs every 2-3 years when I get burned out. They are all in it but it's not something I love or even like. Half of the time I'm trying not to fall asleep. Bills have to be paid though and there is nothing else calling me.

It's probably the ultimate happiness to have something you want to be. To wake up in the morning and be happy to go to work because you will spend your day doing something you are passionate about. I envy these people. I don't want money, power or women, I want health and that.

Keep looking, that's my only advice, you won't figure out what you want sitting on the couch whole day. It's unlikely you will even then but at least you tried. Your death bed time will be that much easier because of it. You have to try it to know if you weren't born with it. And yes, if you gonna continue as a couch dog your gf will drop your ass.

subgamer90 · 2013-12-29T22:57:13+00:00

Dump her right now

[deleted] · 2013-12-29T23:06:07+00:00

Just lose the girl friend, and work on your career. The problem is that you have too much free time. Spend that free time on stuff that matter to you, or to find your 'life purpose'.

He who drops the melon to chase the rabbit will end up with neither.

Edit: So, a bit of back-story on the proverb. There was a man who was carrying a watermelon home from the field one day. On his way back, he encountered a rabbit. In his excitement, he dropped the melon to chase the rabbit, because it's fun and roast rabbit is tasty. So, he spends the rest of the day chasing after the rabbit, but eventually loses him. He comes back and tries to find the melon he dropped, but can't. So, he goes back home empty handed after wasting a day. The moral of this story is: don't give up a sure thing (purpose in life, and a career) for something that is fleeting and uncertain (your girlfriend). Another interpretation is to get your priorities straight.

Edit 2: The reason that I say your career and purpose in life is a sure thing while your GF is fleeting and uncertain, is because you can be certain what you do, but you can't be sure what she does.

Piroko · 2013-12-29T17:44:11+00:00

It sounds to me like you need to decide whether you intend to "live to work" or "work to live".

It's a mentality thing; which one you want to define yourself by.

Glorious_Master · 2013-12-29T17:09:04+00:00

if you have some athletic background become a lifting PT, make a blog/site with some examples , think of it as a portfolio. put some articles with your take on stuff and be good about it. and get a decent certification/s (easy enough)

you can just run around the web and see how it works. there are some successful guys who train celebrities and athletes, some less successful ones. but all make a living and at worst its a good supplementary. income.

these days its decent money.

as for women, the canned reply you will get here is that they are fine tuned resource extractors, read about briffault's law. once you are on the slippery slope there is no stopping it on your part.

SSTUPNC · 2013-12-29T18:28:34+00:00

Not all women are status conscious. You need to define what makes you a man for yourself rather than let society define it for you.

Right now it seems like you're saying: "I can't be the breadwinner this chick is going to leave me."

The conflict seems to be that what brings you happiness doesn't synchronize with your current expectations and is causing you existential angst.

You need to find what brings you joy in life first and move from there. At the moment you're living for others and are overly concerned with your personal image.

If your girlfriend leaves you it won't be because of your career it will be because you're giving off "I'm not good enough" every time you're around her.

In your mind she is doing you a favor by being with you and it is a bad relationship dynamic to have in your mind.

otiswild · 2013-12-29T18:45:59+00:00

Figure out WTF you enjoy doing first, and be honest about it. 24 is young enough to recover from some pretty egregious shit, so now's the time to take chances on what you actually want to do. Unless you're looking to train up for a specific skillset, school's just a waste of money.

[deleted] · 2013-12-29T19:26:08+00:00

Afraid of losing gf because of low value. You just said what you need to do. You mentioned your career blows, start there. Go where the money is. And stop thinking it's about her. It's about you. What you want. What you need.

Free time. If you want to spend it with her so much, get something out of it besides passing time/getting laid. Be easier to learn a new language with someone to talk to, tell her she's learning a new language with you. Don't ask, tell her.

FortunateBum · 2013-12-29T22:00:43+00:00

ALL women eventually leave. It's the nature of women. Just learn to accept this.

phasetwenty · 2013-12-29T21:25:31+00:00

Spend more time experimenting with new things. Get out of your comfort zone. Don't make the mistake of going to work everyday and putting off making progress on this.

Definitely cut back on the together time, use the time saved to explore and experiment.

inyostink · 2013-12-29T22:16:02+00:00

The best way to figure out what you love to do in life is to just keep trying stuff. It took my until the age of 27 to find what I love to do. It's more of a hobby right now, but I know that I don't care about what I do for a living, as long as I can pursue this passion of mine. Keep searching for what you love and don't stop until you find it. Don't worry about losing your gf. You can always get other women. It may seem like feel good BS, but don't settle for anything. Find what you love.

redpilldude · 2013-12-29T23:58:23+00:00

Dude, find a career that you enjoy, not a career that your girlfriend enjoys. People who pursue "prestigious" careers in order to acquire a girlfriend end up being miserable because they become stuck in careers that they don't really enjoy. Besides, who cares whether your girlfriend approves of your career? If she breaks up with you, you can just find another girlfriend.

Laughing_Jelly_Bean · 2013-12-30T17:05:48+00:00

No offense OP, but I think you came to the wrong place for advice.

Our Worldview is very different from yours. But since you asked for advice, here's what you should do: follow your own path and don't be afraid to let the girl go.

mbr902000 · 2013-12-31T23:00:58+00:00

This broad will leave you regardless. It might be your lack of providing at the moment that disturbs her but down the road it will be something else. This bitch will be nagging you about this and that till the day you die. RUN.......

apotshot · 2013-12-29T19:16:05+00:00

Don't worry about it bro!

She's in her "ill fix him" mode. You can drag this out for years. Suddenly in her 30s she'll realize what happened and dump you to find a provider.

Then you can go off and find some other hottie to "fix you".

Title	Lacking life purpose and good career afraid of losing girlfriend over it
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	21
Date	December 29, 2013 4:58 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1ty61d/lacking_life_purpose_and_good_career_afraid_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/lacking-life-purpose-and-good-career-afraid-of.9362 https://theredarchive.com/post/9362

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