Just an insight I got from Cesar Millan Mastering Leadership series. (Yes, it's about dogs, but mainly about the animal mind, highly recommended for dog training AND relationships).

The animal mind doesn't respond to emotional leaders, only calm assertiveness. He speaks about a common error dog owners make: giving affection first and expecting submissiveness. He says one should enforce discipline and leadership first and then reward submissiveness with affection. He proceeds then to talk about how dog owners usually reply to this idea: "But, you say I can't give affection to my dog all the time? That's why I adopted him, I love him!". He replies with something like: "That's putting YOUR agenda first over their agenda, dogs are balanced when they're submissive and following a calm assertive leader who gives discipline and boundaries, they're off balance and rebelious when not, they don't follow emotional leader, they need affection, but it comes last". Affection is needed to gain trust, but doesn't give you respect.

That got me thinking. I usually had this grudge inside, feeling it's all about me when I'm with I girl, this idea about being extremely selfish as a way of life, always expecting the girl to follow, didn't completely sink in. But now I view it differently: being a leader and giving clear boundaries and limitations to the girl is not selfish but completely unselfish, it's responding to her nature. It helps her be in balance. And helps you being in balance too; discipline is more in tune with the logical side of the mind, the male mind. "First you fullfil the other, then you give affection".

Some other things he mentions: - Whenever you are not enforcing dominance, the other will take the dominant role. - Animal mind only responds to energy. - Leader gives direction and doesn't ask for approval, that doesn't exist on the animal world (animal mind). - In order to approach an animal and be dominant, it's best to allow them to come to us first (eye contact, etc). When signals are given you can approach. If you touch them without any prior signals, you get either a fight response, a flight response, or avoidance, not submission.

EDIT: Humans are not dogs, I know. But the most primal instincts of the animal mind are there. When considering variables and behaviours about the dog, you have first to consider that it is an animal, then that it is a dog, and then the breed. But the animal mind is the base, same with humans.