...of being alpha. 21 y/o college student starting junior year this fall. I found out about the redpill about 3 months ago and have been lurking/posting almost daily. What really attracted me to this subreddit was that it explained me perfectly. I'm not saying I'm 10/10 SMV, not even close to elite status but I am naturally a redpiller.

My senior year of high school I started dating a girl (8/10) which ended as a three year relationship. The first two years of the relationship were laughable, I did truly like this girl but I've been caught cheating twice and was out partying all the time, I honestly believed she only stayed with me was because I held my frame extremely well with her. We are both half Iranian and half white (in USA). I could definitely tell she was into the whole "male roles" v "female roles". The relationship really was extremely beneficial towards me.

After the second year mark went by, I really wanted to take the relationship seriously. I stopped smoking pot before or during hanging out with her (she was drug free), was taking her out to really nice dinners (around $200 per date), didn't flirt with any girls and I even truly believed that we were making love instead of just fucking. After a year of this, I broke up with her. I got really bored with her, honestly bored. I found myself being annoyed just to have a simple conversation with her since I was with her so much during the third year (beta year).

Now it's about a year later and as I was scrolling facebook, I saw a picture of her with another guy and it hit me harder than I would ever have guessed. I never even knew I could get this jealous (if that's what I'm feeling). I'm dealing with it very well as in making the lightest of it as possible but it is still there. This reaction from me was a huge blow to my ego. I've always been confident and maintained a certain level of stoicism and out of nowhere I'm yelling "man down".

I know I don't still "love" her and all that crap, I'm not thinking about trying to get her back at all. What my main concern is the fact that I'm feeling these beta feelings! How do I get my head back together men?