I love the concept from Jordan Peterson: "Don't let your children be someone you dislike". I have the same philosophy with women. Why would you sleep with girls you don't like or respect when there's a hell of a lot you can do to make sure that's not the case.

The other point to make is that fucking girls you don't like raises bigger concerns about your self worth and standards. You sure as hell can't like yourself all that much if you sleep with girls you don't like. If all of your mates were absolute assholes every time you hung out, you'd pretty quickly cut them out of your life. You want to respect the people you spend your time with.

There's two main ways you can do this. First, find girls you respect. This one is obvious. I 100% recommend screening out people with big deal breakers from the get go. It's less drama and less effort. The other option is encouraging behaviour you'd like. Making girls you sleep with into people you can respect.

I've heard WAY too many guys saying "I really like my gf, they're hot, intelligent, super sweet, but I really hate it when my girlfriend does [this] ..." or "my FWB started doing [undesirable behaviour], I think we'll probably break up soon." That passive bullshit is one of the worst ways to be in any relationship, be it casual or serious. It's inevitable that most people will have some flaws, or less than desirable behaviour. The longer you spend with someone, the more annoying that behaviour will become if you've had to deal with it 100 previous times. You can address behaviour you don't respect, and you'll be a hell of a lot happier for it.

I'll put in the obvious caveat: You're not trying to control the other person. Guiding girls toward behaviour you respect is a balancing act. Most girls I've ever seen are pretty agreeable and keen to let me take the lead (especially since I look for submissive and more inexperienced girls). Simply making a suggestions, or gently guiding can go a hell of a long way.

A great example is a girl that talks about wanting to lose weight or that say: " I should really work out more". Most people say shit like this. I sure as fuck wouldn't respect a mate that kept telling me he should hit the gym, without ever taking action. Similarly, I don't like girls saying they want something while doing nothing to get it. if this was a girl I was seeing, it's be very easy to say:

"You've said you want to work out a few times, do you have any friends that go to the gym? Pull out your phone, how about you message them and ask to go with them to the gym next week?"

From there, she might go to the gym a few times, realise she likes it. All of a sudden you have a little more respect for her. When you respect a girl, you'll sure as hell be more keen to have sex with her. A few suggestions and encouragements here and there could be all it takes to lean out a little more and start looking way hotter.

Another example: My gf used to have an eating disorder, she had bulimia / binge eating issues. We'd slept together a few times, she'd mentioned it multiple times and it got to the point where I told her it was a deal breaker for me. It was an addictive and self destructive behaviour, I wasn't okay with it. If she wanted to keep doing it, that was fine, but I told her I wouldn't keep seeing her if she did. From there, I encouraged her to talk to her mother, and see a therapist. All she needed was a little push and motivation from me to fix something she knew was an issue. I talk about that example and everything in this post way more here, with her.

I recently gave advice to a mate of mine to talk to his FWB about her occasional passive aggressive behaviours. He basically ended up telling her that: "I've been noticing you've been a bit snappy lately. If you have a problem with something, I'm always happy to talk about about it, you just come to me so we can actually talk about it and address the issue". That 5 minute conversation solved the issue.

'Making' a girl you're seeing into someone you can respect can take on many forms. It can be a discussion of deal breakers, talking about issues or encouraging behaviour you like. You're not forcing girl to do exactly want you want, it's addressing behaviour you don't like or respect and encouraging something better.

At the end of the day, most girls want to be better people. If you encourage positive behaviours, most chicks are on board with it. Yes, there's exceptions. Maybe you've explained to a girl multiple times that you're really busy and your time is important to you (being unreliable might be your deal breaker). If she continues to flake on you and is regularly late - cool, you know she doesn't want to change and you can move on knowing you tried. You can't make the perpetually late girl care about being reliable if she doesn't want to. This is a rare exception.

I've had the exact conversation above, and it usually goes well. I've had girls say something along the lines of: "I'm really sorry, I know I need to manage my time better. When I say I'll see you I'll make sure I'm definitely be free so I won't have to reschedule last minute".

This can apply to girlfriends, fuckbuddies, it doesn't really matter. Making girls into people you respect ensures that you have sex with people you actually like. Most girls with have things they could do better. Everyone does. You don't need to accept things the way they are and be passive in a mediocre relationship. You can make it so that you only surround yourself with girls you really like and respect.

Again, if you feel like you could do with a little more advice on this topic, I talk with my girl about how I've done exactly this in a YouTube video.

- Andy