Monday Field Reports

30years · 2013-12-09T17:47:46+00:00

Debated about sharing these two from a few months ago, but it might help older guys re-entering the dating pool after a long LTR. Here goes.

When I started dating again after a 30 year marriage I was met with some initial success. This report will focus on the first two women I got naked with. I had not had sex with anyone other than my ex in decades and I underestimated the impact of the unconscious emotional attachment to my ex combined with things like condoms, general awkwardness, etc.

Andrea

Andrea was 40, pretty, tan, nice hip/waist ratio and huge natural breasts. We met online (eHarmony) and had a phone convo, she texted me some naughty pics and then had a dinner date. She made it obvious she would sleep with me.

After the dinner date she made out with me in my SUV for a while before calling it a night, making plans to get a room for next time.

I got a room a couple nights later, and we met there. She got naked. I got down to boxers. After I performed some oral (which I typically enjoy) I was still flaccid. This was perplexing because I have never had trouble with erections when I was sober, and I was really enjoying this woman.

Couldn't get it up. She was cool about it.

Karen

Karen is 43, average face, nice, toned body. Met on eHarmony. Not much of a talker. We did coffee, then dinner and then did a date at her place where she made clear we would be having sex.

At this point I figured the problems with Andrea were just some random thing. I wasn't worried about having problems with Karen.

I was wrong. Eventually got enough of an erection to put a condom on, but after she experienced a number of orgasms from intercourse, I still couldn't close the deal.

She asked if it was her. I wasn't maintaining frame very well. It was embarrassing and frustrating.

Things have since improved. I am still seeing Karen and we can have sex pretty easily and I don't have any problems, it was just overcoming the initial mental blocks. Here are some things I wish I had done before my first post-marriage sexual encounter:

Get some Viagra Even though I had never had problems before, I underestimated the effect of decades of sex with one woman. I picked up Viagra after I realized I had problems and it made a world of difference.
Masturbate with a Condom On I hadn't had sex in a condom since I was 20. It feels completely different. I learned to get used to the sensation and still be able to perform by "practicing" at home. You will probably feel silly doing this, but it helps.
Masturbate without Porn In porn we see ideal women doing exactly what we want. In reality the women we have sex with are less so. I learned to focus on the girls I was dating in my own mind to associate sex more with them than with my ex.

If these tips help you, great. If someone wants to add to them, awesome. If I am totally wrong and fucked in the head, let me know.

TL;DR: After a decade(s) LTR, expect to have some issues performing. Above are some ideas I found helpful.

alt30313 · 2013-12-09T18:53:21+00:00

Not a whole lot to report.

Ex-wife contacted me last week (she has two Facebook accounts, one that I've already blocked), asking if I was claiming her and the kids on my upcoming tax return. I would have been fine with that question, had she not added: "If you claim me and the kids, I need whatever you get back." We've been divorced for almost 3 months now and she's still trying to control my wallet. I sent back "I'm not claiming" and blocked her second account.

This incident sent me into a spiral of rage all week, to the point where I couldn't think about it anymore or my blood would boil. Talked to a couple of friends about it, and how I'm not going to be able to see her at bars or I'd do something reckless and stupid. They told me to tell the band that I see all the time that I can't go to their shows if my ex-wife will be there, for the sake of my own sanity. I told them, and they unfriended and blocked her, saying that they're on my side, not hers.

So I shouldn't see her at bars anymore, unless the band was lying to appease me (as they've done before). Guess Ill find out.

Also considering going MGTOW until I can get physically and mentally where I want to be. Take the focus off getting women and more towards becoming the strongest version of myself.

SirBootyLove · 2013-12-10T03:05:59+00:00

Is there anything we can do to prevent Monday Field Reports from being downvoted.

Every week one of my favorite parts of the sub isn't anywhere near the top because people keep downvoting it.

2013-12-10T08:50:41+00:00

Sadly once again almost nothing to report this week.

Friday:

Absolutely no interest shown. No IOIs at all that i can remember.

Saturday:

Woman i made out with a few months ago but got LMR came in. I couldnt really be bothered to game her. Made out with her briefly but that was it.

Sunday:

No game whatsoever but i did have the "pleasure" of dealing with one of these campus feminist types who tried to explain to me why i shouldnt play Blurred Lines because it was "about rape". Her explanations were as intellectually dishonest as I've heard about. In the end i told her perhaps she should start a student society about it, because i was sure all her campus was just dying to sit and listen to her prattle. Apparently I'm disgusting hahaha

mrust · 2013-12-10T19:00:06+00:00

Friday:

Went out to an xmas party at a bar. Organizer invited me, met some of the people before once or twice. Lots of convo, friendly bunch, easy to open everyone. Party was maybe 40-50 people.

One girl and I ended up in conversation. Just natural vibing, nothing canned. After maybe 15 minutes I suggested we go meet some more people. Some guy grabbed her and said he had to show her something. I let it go, thinking I'd talk to her again later. Bounced from group to group kept my energy high.

Then decided to take a break and sat down in a chair. This was a low-hanging leather thing that was positioned like a throne in the middle of the place. I saw the girl from before looking at me. Just smiled at her and held eye contact and after about 5 seconds she approached me. She said I looked like a king and asked if she could sit on the edge. More convo, but halting because people kept asking her to take pictures of them.

I had two tickets for a show the next day and figured I'd ask her out. She sounded very grateful, said yes and then we traded contact details. I'd forgotten my phone so I borrowed hers and texted myself with "You're the best".. She added a smiley face and signed it before sending it.

Saturday:

Turns out the show was much later than I'd thought. It was actually closer to a rave, they didn't start until midnight and it went on till 6am. I called her up in the morning and suggested we meet for a late coffee and then catch the first act.

I arrived early to find a coffee shop and the venue, she texted me from the station and then apologized for being late (by 3 minutes).

Conversation was good, but too logical. This is a personal sticking point of mine. I find SDL to be much easier than doing a Day 2. Just a few teases, but lack of sexual banter. I was trying to follow Krauser's day game model, but it's a bit beyond me at the moment. The coffee shop was perfect for deep rapport; we were sitting across from each other and it was pretty quiet. The downside was we only had an hour.

Walked to the concert venue, and it wasn't really going anywhere from there. She was worried about catching the train home. If she missed her train it would be 3 hours to get home instead of 1. Walked her to the train station (3 minutes walk from venue) and said our goodbyes. I went back to venue, opened up a few sets. Joined a group of people who later proceeded to pair off. Music wasn't what I had hoped for so left early (3am).

Sunday:

Recovery.

Would love to hear feedback on things I could have done to move things in sexual direction. I know I could have done more teasing, misinterpretation of her comments, exaggeration, cold-reads, etc... That's all easy to write, but I would appreciate specific feedback on timing and attitude.

After she approached me at the party, I could have said "I'm not the king, I'm Santa. Come sit on my lap." I judged it to be a bit too early?

I wasn't really sure at what point or how to switch over to more sexual banter. I'm decent at avoiding beta moves and passing shit tests, but if I get into a conversation, I start taking the woman too seriously. More importantly, Day 2s always feel like a step backwards. Anyone with similar experiences, would love to hear from you.

Evers89 · 2013-12-09T19:26:21+00:00

Typical weekend at work. Lot of fights at the bar as usual. One fight in particular resulted in a couple of us getting a couple marks. Attention from female staff and customers sky rocketed as it always does when they see this. My conclusions based on this are that girls love the violence, but are too afraid to say it publicly.

Also of note is that I was texting a couple girls earlier in the week and both got a little flakey, so I either ignored or fired a one word answer and went about my week. One came into work and blew up my phone looking for me and the other initiated contact being more friendly and normal.

In my experience with them is that if you're willing to risk it, sometimes just ignoring them when they're not behaving properly will net some positive results.

MrFunnycat · 2013-12-10T14:11:02+00:00

fun saturday, was gonna pull a chick who's been all over me for the duration of the outing but when I told her to get leave from her friends, it turned out that her logistics were that she didn't have anyone to leave her child with lzolzololzol

Title	Monday Field Reports
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	23
Comments	31
Date	December 9, 2013 5:11 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1sh2dw/monday_field_reports/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/monday-field-reports.8684 https://theredarchive.com/post/8684

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