Need some redpill advice.

redpillschool · 2013-02-02T20:01:54+00:00

Welcome to flake culture. Very common. I've noticed flakes becoming more and more common just over the past decade to the point where I expect the flake. I never make one plan in a night anymore with somebody new. (I make multiple and flake on them!)

Sorry about last night? This isn't even a shit test at this point. She simply has no respect for you. I'd ignore her and move on. Literally don't even respond.

She may eventually text you again. Let me know if she does, we'll work from there.

Don't text her.

Bobsutan · 2013-02-03T08:24:24+00:00

Don't send anything. She fucked up, the ball is in her court. No contact will get her hamster spinning and do a TON of work for you. If you send anything at all you'll lose that. And worse, if you send anything criticising her then the feminine imperative thinking will kick in on her part and she'll just lump you in with all the other needy dudes. On the other hand, no contact, not giving her validation, and so on will cause her to chase you instead of the other way around.

When a woman flakes like this, it's just a sign she wasn't that interested/invested in meeting up with you. What you can do, like qualification, is shrink the hoop you want her to jump through. A weekend date is a pretty big committment for younger women these days, so I recommend shooting for a Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday date in the evning that only lasts an hour or so. If you do thursday or Friday in the future, create a time contraint so there's less pressure. Less pressure, less investment. An example:

"Let's meet Thursday at <location you previously discussed>. I heard they have a <whatever it was that you guys discussed earlier>. Only catch is I'll need to take off by x time for y reason."

Remember, when you guys talk to women you should be seeding the conversation with reasons to meet up later on. You refer back to these topics or points of interest as your reason to get their contact details. Follow this simple methodology and you'll have much better results and fewer flakes. Plus getting their contact details will be so much easier because you have a valid reason to stay in touch, as opposed to some nebulous quasi "hanging out" bullshit reason that's so common today because people are afraid of the commitment that comes with framing an interaction as a qualified date.

Here's my general instructions for texting, which comes right out of the class I teach on this stuff:

The first step to getting their contact details is also the first step in building a new relationship. You do so by getting them to invest in the conversation. Qualification plays a key role in this part of the process as it builds up her investment. By raising her investment and getting to know one another you can also develop deep rapport, aka emotional investment.

The second step is identifying and cultivating commonalities. You can do this by stretching the conversation out through past & future projections, which creates a link in her mind using memories, imaginary as they are. Another way of building commonalities is again qualifying them, as well as relating things about yourself as how they relate to things she talks about.

What all this translates to is you're giving yourself a reason to stay in touch. You're essentially justifying ahead of time why you're about to swap contact details, which is the third and final step in getting their contact details.

No matter what contact details she gives you, remember she has complied and that's a good thing. And don't be dismissive of Facebook. It's arguably the best form of contact details you can get right now since many check it repeatedly throughout the day, whereas they get in trouble for talking on the phone at work. Plus you can get a feel for her character by what she has available on her profile.

Ideally the best time to text or call is when she's still with you. Her hearing herself laughing and having fun in the background as you call her is an amazing thing and is instantly memorable.

During the interaction it’s not uncommon to come up with a nickname of some sort, or in some way link the two of you together. Mnemonics are also good for this purpose. The main reason you do this is to avoid the classic “who is this?” response. You want her to remember you, and more importantly, remember that the two of you had fun and hit it off.

To summarize, you will approach, develop mutual investment, qualify, identify commonalities, seed the conversation with a reason to stay in touch, and either go on an instant date or simply exchange contact details.

Texting is by far the #1 form of communication these days. The biggest rule of thumb I see guys break is not matching her investment level.

Wait roughly the same amount of time to text her back as it took her to text you
Keep your messages about the same length as the text she sends to you

If she’s taking days to get back to you, and with very short or one-word replies, then you messed up during the interaction and her interest level is very low. Sprucing up your interactions and driving up their investment level before you part ways will fix this.

Texting shouldn't last long. After your 3rd or 4th text you should have established a date. From that point forward texting is just to set up logistics for the most part. Don't worry though if it takes 8-10 texts to get to this stage at first. You just don't want to become a text-buddy with lots of texting all the time and no real investment of having to meet up at some point. It's basically a digital friend-zone. Also, if you're texting back and forth, to help prevent this digital friend-zone, you should just call. If she's texting you right back then she's got her phone in her hand and will probably answer.

As a rule of thumb, if the text or call doesn’t advance things towards your goal of getting a date, don’t send it. Sometimes less is more, and coming off as being needy or lacking options can seriously impede your efforts.

monopolyman2 · 2013-02-02T20:17:30+00:00

Do not say what you wrote above- comes off as needy and petulant. Better nothing than that.

Instead: wait to reply, let her sweat it out a bit, and if you feel like it, reframe and assert dominance. See here for ideas http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/should-you-call-out-a-girls-bad-behavior/

Also, legitimately accept that it's over and divest. Further interaction is for your amusement only. You want no trace of pining in your exchanges. Good luck

2013-02-03T02:27:37+00:00

So I've been on a couple dates with this girl

Did you close already? Begin closing process?

Anyway, I just set my dates to be things I'm at, and the girl is invited to join in. If she declines, I'm still doing something I want to do.

TheIslander829 · 2013-02-03T16:46:45+00:00

A few questions:

What happened in the first date?

What happened in the second date?

It seems like you've yet to make out and/or have sex with her, why?

Title	Need some redpill advice.
Author	cobalt172
Upvotes	6
Comments	24
Date	February 2, 2013 7:53 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/17rmvl/need_some_redpill_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/need-some-redpill-advice.3470 https://theredarchive.com/post/3470

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