TL;DR Thought I found a unicorn. Was mistaken. Made mistakes.

Body:

Quick disclaimer: written on mobile, sorry for the formatting.

Last summer, I was at the height of my game. I had just finished three years of military service, finishing as a naval reserve officer (something really rare in my country), was ripped AF, started studying at a prestigious university, and had seriously good IDGAF and abundance mentality. What helped was that I found TRP in that time, although I had already learned most of the lessons before the hard way.

In the first two months of university, I was seriously slaying and having the time of my life. My social circle was huge: fraternities, university interest groups, sports, and the people I was studying with hit off really well, I was partying, had many ONS, and got a good foothold in this new city.

Then, I met a old girlfriend which I first met when I was 14 years old. Objectively speaking, she was perfect LTR material. Conservative upbringing, one former boyfriend, really intelligent and very ambitious.

What happened? I fell for her and developed serious oneitis. I started going out less to spend time with her. I didn't open up as much at parties since why should I care? I have a incredible girlfriend and don't need to socialize as much. A further problem was that the relationship was long distance.

Big mistake. The first 3 months of the relationship were really good, but I lost touch with the rest of my peers since I was spending so much time with her. Then, I was really malicious to her, telling her I fucked another girl the night before fucking her for the first time.

The correct course of action should have been: stoicism, IDGAF, "let it be if you can't cope with it", and more abundance mentality. In short, just continue applying TRP.

But no, what did I do in my oneitis and unicorn thinking? I "opened up", shared my feelings with her, and instead of that happening what everyone promises you to happen (talk a lot, be honest, everything will get better™), it all went to shit. Attraction declined, she started talking about her male friends and how cool and nice they all are (long-distance dread game on her part, clever girl) to her.

I, trapped in my wish to stay together, promised her everything, but didn't manage to turn her around. We broke up 4 weeks ago, leading to me failing three exams because of not being able to concentrate on studying (too many hurt feelings) and she recently told me that she is happy with us no longer being together.

Right back to anger phase for a few days, but that has passed. I just realized it was all my fault. I didn't hold frame and promised things I could not have fulfilled. Therefore, it was my responsibility.

Now, I have to build up the social circle I started neglecting again, which is a lot of work when the others have started moving away from you. (Many comments of: "where were you all this time?" "I've missed you!" "You missed this and that") Luckily, the relationship only lasted for half a year, so the damage can be repaired, to my friendships and my self-esteem.

Lessons learned:

Do not stray from the lessons of TRP.

There are no unicorns.

Have a male best friend to talk to about your problems, never with your girlfriend. It's an instant turn-off.

Do not develop oneitis, as sweet as it may seem at the beginning. Keep and maintain abundance mentality.