Imagine you have a garden. At first, you must sow seeds, and keep the soil rich and wet, with no reward. Eventually plant buds emerge and require protection from rabbits and deer. So you build a fence. After weeks of toil, the plants form buds, and soon small fruits appear. With constant care, the fruits grow large enough for harvest. You can now count on enough food for the week. You are happy. You are fed and couldn't want more. As the weeks turn into months, you settle into the good life; protecting your garden and reaping the harvest.

And then fall comes.

Your fruits begin to die. You don't know why, you've kept them happy and protected from everything before the fruit came. Why now? What now?

You could complain about all fruits being the same, that it's not fair the seasons change. Maybe you think you haven't found the right one yet. Regardless of you're choice, your stomach is still empty. The primitive fact, is that you are still hungry. Perhaps the best option was to never get too attached to the garden in the first place.

Oneitis is the lie people tell themselves that the season won't change. It is just as contrived as the notion of unicorns, a staple in the wet dream of a beta boy fantasy. There's a reason you don't see Disney princes. Breaking the mindset of "this is how it will always be" is an important step in removing dependency.

That's not to say oneitis won't suck. It is not easy quitting smoking, masturbating, heroin, overeating, welfare. You have become used to daily fruit. The idea of no more is scary, and opposed by your body down to the neurotransmitter level. But you only oppose it due to the mindset "this is how it will always be". It's the same reason people aren't motivated to get in shape or change things in their lives.

Disclaimer:

I took my ex's virginity at 18. Gorgeous girl, I was planning on marrying her after college. I became less concerned with fitness (high school wrestler) and bought into the SJW "dad bod" propaganda.. Basically just trying to make her happy. She was hamsterish but I lied to myself for the sake of the relationship.

She left me on our year and a half anniversary. I cried all night afterwards, and slip into a major 6 month depression, full of nervous breakdowns and shameful calls to her trying to work it out. The idea of another guy touching her made me feel like vomiting. I had oneitis. Big time. I did everything to her, she was mine how could she do that?

I got out of that haze, honestly, with drugs. The distraction helped me see her and the world for what it was. I figured so what if another dude cums in her? Animals have been doing that since the dinosaurs. Millions of fucking years. (Or years, fucking) what was I going to solve by crying and being depressed? Was that gonna bring her back? Would I want her back? Nope.

I told myself it's not gonna stay like this. I stayed sociable, went out with friends. One day I met a new girl in college. Younger. Hotter. Believe it or not, I took her virginity too and started an LTR.

Best part? A month after I began dating the new girl, (had 8 months of solid fucking first) guess who lifted the Facebook block and friend requested me? Enjoy Facebook purgatory.