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[–]PragmaticRedTruth 38 points38 points38 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You can talk all you want, and I suggest you start there, but at the end of the day, you've got to mount up and take action.
Do you hate talking to hot women you don't know? Good, admit it. Now go and do it.
Do you hate heights? Good, admit it. Now go jump from a plane.
Do you hate the awkwardness that follows a weird conversation? Good, admit it. Now go talk to some people.
Do you hate waking up at 0600? Good, admit it. Now wake up at 0500.
Fear and fear of discomfort, are the only things stopping you. You've got to get out of your own way... and sometimes it takes moving mountains to do so. Your thoughts and words are meaningless, it is action that proves that this is just a bullshit mental block you've created.
[–]vagbutters2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I still remember a distinct day in my BP fat past where I felt a burning jealousy because I was a young guy not fucking hot women regularly like other men my age were-- I was weak, and I was soft, so I changed that. The years of change were some of the roughest in my life, but holy hell do they pay off in dividends once you're done. That feeling of fucking most women you want to fuck has to be one of the best feelings a young guy can feel, both on a sexual level and at the level of the ego.
[–]Fall7Stand8[S] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That's the problem. Guys like you are one felt swoop. The issue is progressive. Not all or nothing.
[–]PragmaticRedTruth 11 points11 points11 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Sure it is, that's why I suggested to start here.
But, just imagine if people got out of their head for 5 seconds and realized what I just said.
I hate heights. I hate flying. I jumped from a plane... solo.
I was nervous as fuck when I booked it. But nothing could compare to when I got there and they told me my plane was already on the runway, ready to go. I didn't even have time to laugh with my two buddies or second guess and back out of the jump. I was up there, alone (in my head, that's how I felt.). I wanted to panic. But, I just went for it and what followed was me enjoying myself and when I hit the ground I realized it was all fabricated fear.
The progressiveness lies in the fact that you realize that it's all fabricated and your thoughts are bullshit. You conquer them and prove that very fact to yourself. The rest is you stalling and making excuses. But if you need to progress toward this thought, so be it. There is a shortcut, though. Just go.
Edit: it's one fell swoop.
[–]stawek4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some dangers are real, but the fear is in your head only.
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is much better than the original post.
[–]-contrarian-8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I'm picturing a guy crying after calling himself a bitch in the mirror.
<shakes head>
[–]Fall7Stand8[S] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Depending on who you are, good. Pretending like one behavior isn't what it is, is detrimental to success.
Ownership is what this post is about. If you're a pussy and know something is wrong, own it. Admit it to yourself.
[–]PragmaticRedTruth 5 points5 points5 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You forgot to say, "and fix it."
[–]scrodzilla-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That image isn't too far from the Silence of the lambs dance scene.
[–]Fall7Stand8[S] 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're too macho for yourself. I've met you before; you;re the CEO that pretends nothing is wrong until it's too late. Admitting that your math is wrong isn't weak. It helps you create the better you.
[–]skeptixon1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This resonated with me
Man I'm fucking afraid. Right now I'm afraid of so many things. Of fucking up on so many levels. I've been afraid on so many occasions. However recently I started saying " you'll never know what will happen until you try " and life has been a bit better
I'm still scared shitless of so fucking much in life. But I fucking "own" it and dive right in. It's the only way to over come fear and get confident
The fear will never go away you'll just become stronger
Here is to owning it
[–]vagbutters1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's only scary for a short time period before your brain adapts and calls this the new norm. We generally are afraid of the unknown as humans, until we take a step out there and see that it isn't as bad as it looks.
[–]throw174531 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thoroughly agree with your post. People can internally beat themselves up over their past. The reality is the only person who actually cares is you.
With regard to ownership of the past, it is much easier to do once you have changed significantly. At that point looking back and owning it will be easier - it isn't "you" anymore, and that detatchment will make it easier to do.
Now I am a lot like you OP and prefer to start by owning your past, mistakes, properly owning it, and then changing. Living with shame, or internal cringing or just negativity for past mistakes is not something that appeals to me and is a complete waste of time, so owning it and then changing works.
For some people though the opposite will be true. The shame, anger or negativity for their past self will be the catalyst which builds the fire in them to change... they can channel that into becoming a person they are proud of being. And once they have reached that point, then comes ownership of the past.
I actually think your way is healthier if people can do it, but whether you start by taking ownership. Or change first, and then do it. You are right owning your past is essential.
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[–]PragmaticRedTruth 38 points38 points38 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]vagbutters2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fall7Stand8[S] 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PragmaticRedTruth 11 points11 points11 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]stawek4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]-contrarian-8 points9 points10 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fall7Stand8[S] 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PragmaticRedTruth 5 points5 points5 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]scrodzilla-1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fall7Stand8[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]skeptixon1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]vagbutters1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throw174531 point [recovered] | Copy Link