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Pyschotherapy, against or for it?

Rufio0331

July 21, 2015
8 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
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Post Information
Title Pyschotherapy, against or for it?
Author

Rufio0331

Upvotes 8
Comments 25
Date July 21, 2015 4:41 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3e378m/pyschotherapy_against_or_for_it/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/pyschotherapy-against-or-for-it.34870
https://theredarchive.com/post/34870
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Comments

[–]Tad363 17 points18 points19 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The only person qualified to decided whether or not you need therapy is you. If you feel like you're not able to get past something on your own, there is no shame or weakness in seeking help when you need it. The shame would be ignoring your problems or blaming them on someone else.

Ultimately, you and only you are responsible for you.

(As an aside: All therapists are not created equally. The relationship and chemistry you have with your therapist will MASSIVELY impact the results for which you are looking. If you have the time (and more importantly, the money,) shop around and find one that you feel works for you.)

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends hugely upon the individual therapist.

You want somebody who works with you proactively, and gives you hands-on techniques to work with and goals and metrics of progress. You DON'T want someone collecting a check to listen to you talk for 50 minutes, keeping you dependent for all time. After 2 sessions you should know if the therapist is a keeper or you need to find another.

Most of your self-improvement will be outside the therapist's office. They can be a good kickstart if you're in a bad place.

[–]shankzilla3 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Future psychologist in training here just speaking his mind. Everyone can use someone to talk too.. period. we are social creatures for a reason. In fact, in most grad schools, even the grad students have therapists. Sometimes its even apart of the course requirement for graduation. Why have this rule implemented? Because the world is a very cold and unforgiving place. Sometimes you cannot handle the world on ur own. Also because therapists tend to carry the emotional trauma of everyone else because of their empathetic nature.

Also, dont go to see a psychiatrist. He will only prescribe you pills and tell you to go on about your day. Go to a therapist/clinical psychologist

In the words of the great lyrical mastermind Pharrell "See, you wont even know you hurt sometimes, until you in conversation it comes out in a line so let it out P".

Final note. For some reason people on this post (and its a common misconception) that physical pain is worse than mental pain. This has been argued through the damn centuries. If you go to a doctor for medicine because of the physical aspect of you is in pain, then there is no argument. If frustrates me to no end (specifically because I am the field) that people wont do the same for their mind. Trauma to the mind is a VERY real thing. I can sit there and throw scores and scores of information to you about this. Just look through EBSCO HOST about Psychosomcatic Symptoms... Hell the damn topic was so big they had to make a new field about it (Health Psychology). The mind is intertwined with the body point blank.

[–]lll_lll_lll1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Do it. Psychotherapy, much like massage therapy is something many men miss out on because they see it as weak or effeminate. Their loss. Nothing unmanly about self care.

[–]Calanen[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Most of the people who really need therapy, never get it. It cannot hurt, and it's good to have someone to tell some of your problems to - or all of them - so you quarantine that aspect of your life away from everyone else, and don't be complainer guy.

Remember also, you don't have to agree with a therapist about everything, or, do everything they recommend. If the advice is of no use to you, don't take it.

[–]Rufio0331[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This made me laugh because it was posted to the blue pill.

I was pretty blue pill prior to this relationship and never really learned from my mistakes. Going in to this I was struggling to swallow the pill and having my tendencies to go back to blue pill and bought in to her bullshit. For other red pill newbs, here is a prime example of why getting friendzoned early on by a girl isn't neccessarily the worst thing. You yourself probably aren't ready for a relationship and you were stopped in your tracks early on before you got too involved while the other person didn't as much. I'm not ready for one either but I am working on it now, instead of half ass reading TRP prior to this relationship I'm going in full bore.

This relationship was toxic because we both didn't know when to say stop and it snowballed in to a crash and burn. It ended with me calling her a cunt. Do I condone this? No but the latter was to keep buying in to said woman's bullshit and let her belittle me for being myself, become her provider and eventually become divorce raped. Doing what I did is a good way to ensure she never speaks to me again and I don't care in the slightest about that.

[–]Stythe0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think this is one thing where, if you feel it's right, nobody can tell you otherwise. It could be incredibly useful, depending on how insightful you already are.

For what it's worth, when I split with my ex, I looked into things ranging from co-dependency, to depression, to addiction, to narcissism and realized how far down the rabbit hole my own mentality was. If you find a professional who can help you better yourself, fucking go for it. Even if it turns out to be a waste of time, at least you tried, which is better than doing nothing.

[–]VoraciousG 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

From my reading on the subject it seems as if most seek therapy of all kinds when they feel that they have lost control of some aspect of their life. Oftentimes this feeling of control is restored by discussing the feelings more thoroughly.

As a frugal and intellectual man I'd say try to work it out on paper or something first. If you still feel at a loss then go for it but know that the actual act of therapy isn't whats 'curing' you its you.

[–]ShitfacedBatman 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm for it, but be very aware your therapist may be a blue pill chump. What you want is therapist that leans heavily humanist, so that your goals are what he supports. If you're middle aged, a good test is to tell him right away you want to date women 15-20 years younger than you. If his reaction to that sucks balls, look for another therapist.

[–]collidoscope2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

A therapist will not make judgements or tell you what to do with your life. That's kind of the point.

[–]ShitfacedBatman1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I had a therapist that either forgot that or planned on interjecting - because she started to interject. And yes, it was a female therapist of course. BIG MISTAKE. Never get a female therapist.

[–]Prophet_Swagnar 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Check out therawness.com if you want to figure shit out on your own. That site was absolutely vital for me to fix some deep rooted issues (still took plenty of time, supplemental psych related reading, and long nights of staring at the ceiling trying to connect the dots) and finally get past the anger and depression phases. If it werent for that blog I would have probably ended up dating needy crazy bitches my whole life and wondering why that was the only type I could attract regularly.

There are book recommendations on the site and if the blog.posts hit home I recommend checking out most of the list. I'd start by searching.for the 5(?) part reader letters posts

[–]SchweinsteigersDog-1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

< I started studying psychology a few years ago (as a hobby, non-academically for the most part). I'm going to give you my advice on what to do instead of seeking therapy.

This sounds like a fine idea. What could possibly go wrong? Anywhoo, back to my "hobby studying:" Brain Surgery for fun and profit.

Edit: sorry, linked to wrong comment. Meant to append to /u/blastaa_mastaa and his home studied psychotherapy advice. Imo you need some clinical experience to properly apply psychological principles; theory alone is dangerous in the hands of the untrained.

[–]makethemsayayy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What? Where did this come from?

[–]Source1311 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Firm believer in Self-Regulation methods. Any emotional trauma stores in the body. Read Alexander Lowen's stuff. Write out any other intellectual thoughts - it works and will leave your system. Burn the notebook when done.

[–]blastaa_mastaa -4 points-3 points-2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

The current state of academia is designed to celebrate certain ideas while ignoring others. Anyone who has finished their degree will have been assaulted with feminism for 4 years in academia. Any licensed therapist is going to have been through that.

I started studying psychology a few years ago (as a hobby, non-academically for the most part). I'm going to give you my advice on what to do instead of seeking therapy.

To get my head right back in the game would you advise for or against therapy

To think that you need someone's help for this is in itself weakness. You're a man; you are strong enough to get over someone without another person telling you how right you are all the time. You don't need a therapist. How could a therapist really help in this regard, I wonder?

Pre redpill I would always stick to myself for a few months until I was fully over someone

You got depressed after your oneitis. That's totally normal, it's mostly what brought everyone here in the first place. Depression is an indication that something is wrong in your life; there needs to be a change. The number one cure for depression is regular exercise, so make sure you keep up with that. Get a gym buddy if you need someone to keep you accountable.

Besides the obvious points of Lifting, sticking with my hobbies, working hard.

What I just heard from this line was that you know these are things you should do. What I didn't hear is that you would do them. Further, work hard on what? You need to work hard on something you can be passionate about. I already denoted the importance of exercise, but a passionate hobby is one of next best things to overcome your depression. Identifying where you're going to be expending energy is important here.

TL;DR You don't need a therapist, you need exercise and a good hobby. You need someone to keep you accountable with your exercise until you develop the discipline to exercise on your own. You need to identify what it is making you unhappy, and affect some change to end that thought.

[–]Rufio0331[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

I've been doing crossfit and powerlifting for 6 years, shoot guns for a hobby, own a fast car and I have a solid job as an electrical engineer (hence the working hard) On paper I have an awesome life with some cool materialistic things, but like most people who do follow the red pill know, material things don't fulfill your life.

I always felt the one aspect I'm missing from my life is the girl but there are other factors I think that are keeping me from getting "the girl" ie oneitis or just being social in general.

[–]collidoscope2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

In therapy, you get to create a safe relationship with someone, which can be a powerful learning experience. If your parents neglected you or didn't meet your needs, it's likely you won't know how to meet your needs as an adult. Or maybe you won't even know what your needs are. Therapy can help you identify your unmet needs.

[–]blastaa_mastaa -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I totally understand.

One of the fundamental underlying philosophies in Buddhism is that desire is the source of suffering. Until we let go of what we want we won't be happy, even if we already have it.

It sounds to me when you write "but there are other factors I think that are keeping me from getting "the girl"" that you're still imagining there's a perfect girl you're trying to acquire.

Many of those who are RP will state that such a girl doesn't exist. Its possible that your desire for a "unicorn" is making you unhappy?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If you end up going the therapy way, choose a man.

If you can avoid it, don't do it at all.

[–]RedPillJohnny-3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that just talking about it out loud is therapy enough and unless you find a good one, and I mean a good therapist, not simply OK, they will fuck you up more than help you...but talking about your shit helps, which is essentially verbalizing the shit that you need to own...but talking is only good right up until the point that you are spinning your wheels talking about it, that's when a good therapist will nudge you forward instead of letting you wallow in your misery, but you can do that too as long as you are honest with yourself.

[+]nantucketghost-6 points-5 points-4 points 11 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

deleted What is this?

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I fully agree with you, at the exception of mental illness.

[–]Rufio0331[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I have had a series of unhealthy relationships and I'm getting to a point where I feel that if I don't get some sort of professional help, this will be an endless vicious cycle. Coupled with TRP this is my best option for now.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Go on then. But be careful, if you are currently weak, do not make yourself vulnerable and open yoursel 100% to your shrink. Some want to fuck you up even more to ensure you need lifelong therapy.

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