The media likes to point out Millenials killing things whether consumer goods or American habits. Covid has also changed things. This should be a perfect mix for changing the poor facets of American weddings. It appears to be happening.

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I proposed to my girlfriend this spring. We were on a hike and had been discussing moving in, when it struck me that I could walk in the footsteps of some relatives who cohabitate for years or just do it. Boomers had divorce. Gen X had illegitimate kids. Millenials have the eternal cohabitation. We have all met people who get engaged for 2 years after 2 years of dating to plan the perfect wedding. Covid makes this a ridiculous waste of time since perfect in the American wedding tradition now means a $30,000 show. I proposed at a nice stop on our walk and a kiss and some happy tears from her later, we were engaged.

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Marriage and divorce rates are both down. Fewer get married, but they stick together more often. Why would we spend more and more for something fewer bother with and fewer attach significance and meaning to? Heartiste noted the paradox, and it points to the desacralization of the event. If something is sacred and has deep meaning, no glitz or spending matters. In our patrilineal history, man gives his daughter to another man to form a sacred bond and new family. This simple exchange has sacred meaning as the promise of a new family is there in that moment. When stripped of sacred importance, people will try to buy their way to a meaningful event. We do this with everything. It’s the American way!

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The chance to revamp weddings thanks to covid is real, but it would force people to take stock of why they are getting married and what it means. No fault divorce and proliferation of illegitimate kids has sullied the eternal imagining of marriage being the forging of the link in the familial chain for begetting the next generation for a family. Many weddings today have a hodge podge of parental pairings if all parents show. I’ve attended tax status change events where a couple together for 7 years finally gets married. I’ve attended a booze filled $100,000 wedding that felt like a business conference dinner. It was a weird affair.

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This change might take too deep a review to get to why people date today. Getting married and having kids are now just things that may happen and outside the expectations of the 20 something experience. We all just date for some sex and intermittent companionship. We consume content together. Forget giving wedding advice, we should be honest about the tar pit that is dating.

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My girl and I get married at the end of this month. As we looked at a normal $30,000 American wedding approach, we found out halls and vendors couldn’t handle us until 2022. Why wait? Did the reception venue matter, and who would it matter to? This was about starting a life together, not a fancy party. As we decided on a small ceremony in a park, the only pushback we received was from outsiders expecting a big show. We show no stress compared to other couples planning big weddings.

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Covid meant no big shows, sports events or concerts. It clamped down on weddings. The masses will be reprogrammed to go out again in big settings, but this window of time offers us a chance to destroy one of the worst pieces of modernity. We have twisted the sacrament of marriage into a consumer event, an experience. It shouldn’t surprise us fewer people understand that sacred bond and that fewer couples honor it. The day meant to glorify it becomes a big party that overtakes the moment of union. Think small and reject it all.

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Source: https://theamericansun.com/2021/07/08/rethinking-weddings/