I came to a realization today. Every human relationship has some mix of self-loathing love and positive love, and how much of each is generally determined by your SMV.

First, let me define each term.

Positive Love is a relationship born out of choice and having options. You see a beautiful woman and choose to be with her because she is someone you're attracted to. Its not compromise, it's a celebration of the human body and mutual appreciation. Positive love brings joy to both people.

Self-Loathing Love is born out if scarcity. The fat ugly couple down the street embody this. They are with each other because it's the best they can do, not out of genuine attraction or appreciation. They may have some positive love for one another, but more than that, it's a self-loathing love stemming out of fear of being alone.

Another example if self-loathing love is the post-wall woman who settles for a beta. She hates him and herself for having to settle to get that family and white picket fence she's "entitled" to.

Self-Loathing Love goes hand in hand with hypergamy, as both people are just getting the best partner they can at that moment. However, if the SMV of one partner, especially the female partner increases and becomes dramatically higher than the partner during the course if the relationship, you better believe she's gone.

What's the answer? Make relationships, especially LTRs as high a percentage of positive love as possible. Be the best person you can be. Have a high SMV. Follow all the cliche advice: hit the gym, improve professionally, get game, take care of yourself, have your own unique interests and hobbies.

When you do enter an LTR, it's because she's so amazing that you don't want to exercise other options anymore. You're not settling, but even more importantly, she never thinks that she is settling. She needs to feel like she hit the lottery and all she feels is positive love and no self-loathing