Life is filled with ups and downs. One week, you’ll have two dates, get laid four times, close a huge account, and hit a new record in the gym. Other weeks, your plates will be out of town or flake, your job will make you want to pull your hair out, and you’ll step on the scale to see you’ve put on 5 pounds.

In this cyclical world, littered with drains on willpower and shit you simply can’t control, there is one thing you can always count on: yourself.

When you get right down to it, your friends, and even family, only care a finite amount about you. Sure, they will be there for you when the shit hits the fan (which is rare), but through life’s small ups and downs, they can’t help you. They just don’t have the time or capacity because they are caught up worrying about themselves.

So, what’s a man to do in this situation? If you’re going through something serious, go get professional help (therapist). If you’re just dealing with the standard ebb and flow of life, you need to develop self-reliance.

Self-reliance is the ability to be happy without the external validation of friends, family, women, money, food, alcohol, drugs, masturbation, and any outside stimuli. It is the ability to be content with yourself alone and is the foundation to long-term happiness.

Self-reliance is developed in a variety of ways. For me, it revolved around solidifying my core values and following them at all times, living minimalistically to gain financial and locational freedom, deliberately spending my time alone with my thoughts, and making bold decisions that were true to my mission, even if it meant losing respect from my “friends”.

When you’re 90 years old on your deathbed, you won’t be happy you sacrificed your short and long term happiness to appease people you don’t even like. Self-reliance is the safety net that gives you the courage to take risks professionally, socially, and personally. Because no matter what happens, you will always have yourself, and you’re pretty fucking awesome.

tl;dr Self-reliance is the key to maintaining an even level of happiness throughout your life. If you can’t rely on yourself, you can’t rely on anyone.