You know, this sub gets a lot of flak for, apparently, only discussing ways to get laid even though we claim that it’s about being a better man (or person, I see you out there my lesbros). So, I’m going to cover something that people often don’t realize is an important part of how people perceive you.

Your hand shake.

I remember, quite a few Christmases ago, while surrounded by family that my uncle came up to me and shook my hand. I gave him a limp handshake. He was not pleased. He went and talked to my father and the both of them pulled all the boys aside and gave us an important lecture on the importance of the handshake.

The handshake is your first tangible impression you leave on people.

They made us practice until they were happy with the results: a strong, firm handshake.

I didn’t get it. Why was this such an important issue?

Because it conveys all the right signals.

You probably have memories about meeting some guy at a party, being introduced and shaking his hand being greeted with a limp hand. Tell me your opinion of him wasn’t instantly negative. What a wimp you probably thought, what a bitch. The handshake felt awkward, was either too long or too short and the eye contact was minimal. He qualified himself as your inferior from the get go. A limp handshake is a sign of self-doubt and a lack of assertiveness. If you go for a job interview, a failed handshake can ruin your chances before you even have a chance to open your mouth. I’ve had quite a few jobs over my short life due to moving around a lot. I always ask when I leave about why I was hired, how my performance was throughout the employment. One thing that keeps coming back to me is how my handshake impressed them when I was being interviewed. “You came in here, shook my hand and you seemed to know what you were doing. You seemed confident so that’s a big part of why I hired you.”

So how do you get a good handshake? Honestly, practice. If you can’t find someone to practice with, then, you fucking start shaking hands whenever you go out and meet people.

The perfect handshake is a mix of a firm grip, dry hands but also, often overlooked, fucking EYE CONTACT. I cannot stress enough how important eye contact is. By meeting their gaze and holding it, you immediately set yourself up as either their equal, or not supplicating to them. Strong willed individuals have no problem keeping eye contact because they are secure within themselves. They don’t need validation or they can fake it. A man that is shifty eyed creates an impression of not being trustworthy or not being confident. The worst thing you can do though is to shift your gaze downwards. That is a sign of weakness that even the most beta of betas can identify. You keep that fucking eye contact. You meet the president? You stare right into his fucking eyes and you don’t break eye contact until your hands part.

Grip : You’re not trying to break the other guy’s hand. You just come off as a douche and arrogant. An overly strong grip has negative connotations just like a limp grip. In this case, you come off as arrogant and trying to impose your will on others. This will cause others to raise a mental defense against any interaction you have with them. This can also hurt employment opportunities because no boss wants someone that will try to dominate them from the get go. What you’re looking for is that sweet spot where it’s firm but not overly strong. Until a frame has been established, you meet as equals.

Try to keep your hands dry. While this has a smaller impact, it still feels gross if your hand is damp and sweaty. It’s the little things.

What happens if you fuck up your first handshake? I’ve found that if this were to happen, due to other clinching too quickly or just having bad form, it is important to try and shake hands at the end of the interaction, it’s your “redemption” per say. The closing handshake should been done at the end of job interviews as well, thanking them for their time. Dry hands at the end of an interview means you aren’t flustered after being thoroughly examined, also a positive sign as it displays a confidence in yourself.

Hope this has helped, comments and criticism are appreciated, get a good fucking hand shake people.