The discussions about the spreadsheet raised a lot of questions. Here are some thoughts about some of them:

“I never understood women getting married and not wanting sex. Isn't sex as pleasurable to them as it is to us?”

Not always. Only 30% of women can climax solely by P into V intercourse. The remaining 70% need additional stimulation. It is just how their bodies are wired. This is why women generally do not really care about penis size. It is more important what he is doing with his hands, lips, and tongue.

For men, sex is usually a localized experience. For women, when sex is good, it is an explosion that rocks every nerve in the body. Problem is, men are like blowtorches (zero to 60 in a few seconds, then back to zero quickly) and women are like ovens (takes a while to pre-heat and cool down).

Many, many times, the man is finished before the woman really gets started. Many, many times, after the woman’s body gets going, she can be still humming along, ready to keep going but the man is asleep. These are both frustrating experiences for her.

It appears that men prefer to have many short sprints while women prefer to have fewer long marathons.

“Don’t they realize how much we need it?”

No, not entirely. Women underestimate men’s sexual needs and men underestimate women’s emotional needs. Since the “short sprint” version of sex does little for women, they don’t really see the point in engaging in it. They may do it as a courtesy or to make him happy or because he has bullied her into it but she isn’t going to crave that experience.

Problem is, you can’t run a marathon every day. The human body just isn’t built for that. Women are generally happy to wait until the next marathon. Men are eager to run the next sprint. And, after so many sprints, they aren’t interested in a marathon. As a result, many women find their sex life to be unfulfilling and get discouraged with the whole thing.

“A woman can't donate 6-12 minutes a day to bring pleasure to the person most important to her future welfare? Let me tell you why this bothers you, because it's not that she's selfish. It's that on a daily basis she engages in hedonistic behavior contrary to her rational self-interest. She will let her relationship go to hell to avoid momentary discomfort.”

A couple of points here: Many women today are capable of providing for their own futures. They do not need to have pointless sex with a man to accomplish this. “Momentary discomfort” is beyond pointless.

Second, 6-12 minutes a day? If that is all a woman’s sex life is, no wonder she isn’t interested! That is asking her to accept all of the consequences while receiving none of the pleasure. Let’s be honest: women do bear the consequences of sex more than men do. If sex results in a pregnancy, he can just bail. She cannot. She must handle it one way or another. It takes a physical and emotional toll any way you look at it.