This is not a post about getting sober per se, it is a post intended for those who are thinking about it but have concerns, or those wondering how sober guys pull.

Whether I admitted it or not, the past 6 years of my life were spent addicted to booze, weed, or both. Like any good addiction, the benefits for the first few years were obvious and incredible, especially for my social & sex life, where only in the last year or two did the fuckups start to pile up, and the massive failures of years past became clear. I took experiments with long breaks from one or the other, but this time I've been 100% sober for 117 days with no desire to go back. I actually give credit to swallowing the red pill a couple years ago (before I knew it by that name) as forcing personal accountability on myself and hating feeling the weakness of addiction.

Of course, one of the bigger anxieties for me was the question of how I was gonna get that dick wet. I'm in the entertainment industry, and dealing with managing my professional & platonic relationships without substance assistance was daunting enough, but what sexy girl would be attracted to a 25 year old dude who can't drink or blaze with her? Would I be stuck with prudes, with AA groupies, with fundie Christians?

It's been shocking to me to find that it's become one of my bigger advantages, not even including obvious health & wallet benefits.

  • My frame is stronger than ever. I'm a fairly attractive 25 y/o male that makes a silent statement that he puts his welfare above social approval. I prove more discipline, self-control, and reliability with every day.
  • The background confidence that you can, in fact, pull without needing a single crutch is humongous. There is little difference between daygame and nightgame when you're never drunk.
  • It's given me much more time to self-improve, work on my hobbies and add new ones in a sound mental state, either from not being drunk or not being hungover.
  • I'm consistent and congruent with my actions now that my emotional swings are much less frequent and much more in control. I handle girl bullshit with ease I never had before.
  • Online game has also improved. I have a short profile and keep my statement on it simple, light-hearted, but unapologetic. I also make it clear that I don't care if you lightly drink in my presence or smoke weed out of it, but heavily doing either is a deal-breaker.
  • My date choices have gotten more creative, more fun, and way cheaper.
  • Testosterone is higher.
  • No whiskey dick.

Now, some specific tips:

  • I realize the inherent irony with this post, but don't talk about sobriety with non-sober folks unless asked. Period. It makes too many people insecure. Just ignore or laugh along with all the various drinking jokes that come up throughout your day.
  • With women, don't go into detail about what led you to sobriety (unless of course they're also sober). Leave it a mystery or keep it simple. For me, I just said it was impacting my performance in the industry too much, and enough was enough, which was the truth.
  • Unless your preference is otherwise, I can't really recommend AA girls as much as I would like to, as they tend to be ex-party girls with lots of baggage (I can feel the post on TBP coming already). A girl who has been through recovery and moved on with life is great, a girl who needs to go to meetings every day goes for a reason. However, there are unicorns in sobriety too, and you will have a huge leg up on them over the rest of society. If you're a reasonably attractive male under 30 and not crazy, you're in the top 1% of men for these girls by default. I've heard they tend to be freaks in the sack, so treat them like a plate, but scrutinize heavily for LTR.

I've never spun plates as successfully, easily and with this level of quality as I have now. I used to date insane girls, but this set is very well-adjusted and attractive. None of them are sober, and none of them have asked me about it more than once. I let them know that I don't care if they have a couple drinks around me, but they still don't because they respect me.

Resources

For specific resources, I think AA/NA are interesting to go to once or twice for the experience (and nice to know there's some sense of solidarity), but I've found much more practical success reading Allen Carr's book, Craig Beck's book, and going to a couple of SMART meetings (recovery that's secular & cognitive-behavioral based, rooted in science--the TRP of getting sober, as most AA people think you have to join their cult). Also, r/stopdrinking and r/leaves are good places to check in every now and then. This combo of resources has actually made it fairly easy for me, I don't really think about sobriety much anymore only 4 months deep.