Stop Saying “No Problem”

SwagYoloJesus · 2015-01-11T16:27:45+00:00

Okay, TRP is becoming a shitty LPT.

"No problem" is essentially a shortened "It wasn't a problem for me to help you out", or going a step further, "I'm okay with helping you out, don't worry", reassuring the person (subconsciously) that the favor wasn't too much trouble for you, thus

easing their discomfort of having asked you for a favor in the first place (or simply that the favor happened),
lowering your assumed need for a future reciprocation by downplaying the effort it took you to accomplish the favor.

First of all, what the fuck is wrong with all that?

Second of all, do you think anyone gives two shits whether you use one or the other? Do you think you'll come off as someone who speaks "with purpose and intent" if you use one over the other?

No. One. Gives. A. Shit.

You guys over-analyze everything.

DCLdit · 2015-01-11T15:22:19+00:00

On the flip side of that, "yup" is not an appropriate response to "Thank you" either.

You sound like a moron.

RPSigmaStigma · 2015-01-11T16:06:00+00:00

I'm a little confused as to what you mean by "disgusti-fied". Do you mean it disgusts you to hear other people say it, or do you mean you think it displays a level of disgust from the person saying it?

CokedUpArmenian · 2015-01-11T16:45:08+00:00

Can you guys think of any other ‘disgusti-fied language’

a better question is 'who cares?'

penguin_says_slide · 2015-01-11T17:29:50+00:00

Seems you're taking this a bit too seriously.

Take a chill pill mate :D

And before you thank me...

...

...no probs! ;)

SupALupRT · 2015-01-11T19:42:07+00:00

this seems such a beta thing to give a damn about one way or the other.

TheWaysian · 2015-01-11T21:24:50+00:00

What I've found often is that when someone is performing a service/favor for me, such as sending me an important document in the workplace, and we are having some talk about the document's details, as the discussion winds down and I thank them for bringing me the document and explaining it, they too will say 'Thank You' or 'Thanks'.

Thanks for what? What did I do for you? You were the one doing a favor for me. I'm always left puzzled after someone does that to me, and I often think they don't take social interactions with me seriously (I don't feel bad about this, it just lowers their perceived social fortitude in my own eyes).

Another one is when "I love you" comes into play. Obviously, there is an important part of when two lovers are exchanging this for the first time in an emotional setting, that it should be genuinely reciprocated. However, from the day-to-day "Love you"s and "Love ya"s, there can be a sense of throwing it around lackadaisically, just as a form of politeness. I go out of my way to not reciprocate this to loved ones in this way, not because I'm being a hardass or that I don't love them, but that when I do say it, I actually mean it, and I will take the time to make sure they understand that I truly mean it and not just tossing it around.

Similarly with "Have a nice day" and "You too!". At some point I began to feel disgusted with myself when strangers would tell me "have a nice day" and I would just toss out "you too", as if I really gave a shit when I said it. "You too" was just a polite phrase rather than a genuine one. Instead, I've started saying "Thank You" and leaving it at that, or when I'm exchanging with a close friend, I'll spin "You too" into "You too bud" or "Take care".

Since making these changes to my speech, I've been much more honest with myself in other areas of my life. "When I say I want to workout more, do I REALLY want to workout more, or am I just psyching myself out into feeling better about myself" "Do my friends truly understand that I love them and wish to see them succeed and prosper?" Etc.

What comes to my mind with this topic is actually a Bible verse that touches on the idea that "what flows out of the mouth is a reflection of the heart". Don't be the person who says things out of politeness. Sure, be polite with others, but when it comes to the content of your words, genuinely mean them, and say them in such a way so that others understand what you mean.

williamwilliam2 · 2015-01-11T16:59:36+00:00

In the French language, 'it's nothing' is the phrase spoken after 'thank you' (merci). But, there is an alternative.

DCLdit · 2015-01-11T17:29:07+00:00

Get this shit out of here.

You're way too concerned with trivial shit, which tells me that you have no real problems in life.

Telochi · 2015-01-11T15:20:54+00:00

Here's another thing, when someone apologizes, you should say some variation on, "I accept your apology" as opposed to, "It's okay" because the latter makes the person feel like the behavior is okay to repeat.

DCLdit · 2015-01-11T17:39:57+00:00

This is great. Loving the feedback. Giving me some things to ponder. Keep 'er coming.

getomc · 2015-01-11T17:20:05+00:00

As if saying, "I'm sorry," wasn't pathetic enough, doing it at a funeral seems to me the most disgusting time a person can think to say such a disgusting thing.

I don't know what to say and I can't be arsed to thibk about you personally so I'm just gonna repeat these hollow words thar everyone else does.

If you're going to do that, for Christ's fuckin' sake, use the right fuckin' words. That is, "[You have] My condolences" or if you really actually care offer to do something for the bereaved. Bonus points if you don't have to ask what.

That's my little cultural pet peeve.

Title	Stop Saying “No Problem”
Author	DCLdit
Upvotes	0
Comments	34
Date	January 11, 2015 3:16 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2s2bgc/stop_saying_no_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/stop-saying-no-problem.27845 https://theredarchive.com/post/27845

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