Trouble understanding frame.

trplurker · 2013-11-27T03:25:40+00:00

It's referencing the framework or structure present in all relationships. You form a relationship with every person you ever contact or communicate with, and each relationship has a framework that you operate in. The frame is just the set of rules your working with. You buy a candy bar from a store, there is a frame between you and the cashier. That frame is one of you being the purchaser and her being the server. The assumed rule is you give her money and she gives you the candy bar.

Relationships with women are no different. You have expectations and assumed rules, so does she. Part of the process of becoming your own man and discovering your masculinity is that you redefine the rules and expectations you use when forming relationships. As a thought experiment, sit down with a piece of paper. Imagine you first engaging with a women, now write down all the rules and expectations that you assume to be present. What you just wrote down is your current frame.

Humans can subconsciously pickup on each others set of rules in a very primal way. Someone looks dangerous, you subconsciously create the rule of not fucking with them. Women will try to alter your rules, also known as altering your frame, to make them to her advantage. Holding your frame is just refusing to allow the women to alter your rules for her benefit.

lulsause00 · 2013-11-27T03:19:38+00:00

Basically you view things in your own terms and you aren't easily influenced. This is a very dangerous area because some men think that having a solid frame means never admitting you're wrong and dominating everyone all the time, which is a huge display of insecurity and low value.

You can allow yourself to be influenced, but only through a conscious choice you make yourself. In this way, you're maintaining your frame and changing your mind because /you/ want to (again, in your terms), not because someone pressured you and you folded like a cheap tent. When you do this, it's usually a good idea to give social cues to the people around you that you've changed your mind or behavior because you think it's right, not because you're a push-over.

pcadrian · 2013-11-27T04:21:04+00:00

Here's an example that doesn't have to do with women or relationships.

I was at work today, and really felt like eating at Red Robin - the garlic fries taste just like my grandma would make them when I was little, and I needed to up my carbs cause I bonked during yesterday's workout.

Coworker X (with who I'm supposed to do a presentation for our unit leaders) wants to do Tom & Eddies, otherwise he doesn't want to come with. Pretty adamant about it too. He also continues to tell me Tom & Eddies is better bla bla. Part of me wanted to give in, because hell, I didn't exactly want to eat alone.

I know better though. So I told X it's fine if he doesn't come with, we can just discuss the presentation later. Didn't bother convincing him much, because he always does the opposite of what I suggest to spite me (we mess around a lot like that, this guy is pretty RP - it's literally like having a buddy for shit test practice, but on hard mode). Some time passes by, and as lunch hour approaches, he reaches out saying he'll come.

So what I did there I maintain my frame and sticking to my original choice. It was tempting to leave that frame and enter his (i.e. agreeing to go to Tom & Eddie), because like I said, I consider this guy to be pretty darn grounded - he's not easily swayed.

EDIT: I should add, one way I can tell when people are trying to pull me into their frame is because I feel this strange discomfort, this tension about the whole situation. It's like someone trying to make me do something I don't want to do, and agreeing to it would result in this inner feeling of defeat. I remember feeling the same way when this was happening with a woman as I did with my coworker in the story above. I'm wasn't always conscious of this feeling in the past, but now I'm constantly aware of it when it happens. In a way, it's similar to the reluctance to say no.

Zackcid · 2013-11-28T02:24:30+00:00

This is one of those terms that becomes obvious after only witnessing it for yourself or lurking long enough. It took me forever to understand what the concept of outcome-independence meant, but when I did, it just boosted my Game to the next level.

To a lesser extent, some vocabulary like "hamster" also took a few weeks of lurking for me to actually grasp.

Frame is like the type of reality you have with a certain girl or people. If I say "you have a strong frame", it means that you have a strong inner reality that doesn't get shaken when unexpected shit happens. The girl could be shit-testing you and saying outrageous things, but if your frame is strong, you'll just keep staring at her with that grin and shutting down all her shit tests effortlessly because your frame is stronger than hers. You don't get drained into her reality.

Going back on the first explanation, frame is also the way you treat people. If you frame a girl as being that bratty little sister, that's the way your relationship is with her. Very abstract, but you get it after seeing it mentioned enough times.

ozymodeus · 2013-11-27T03:19:49+00:00

http://www.absoluteability.com/inner-game/frame-control-101/

lookiamapollo · 2013-11-27T04:13:48+00:00

basically framework is the lens at which you examine the world with. It can be applied in many different fields, but as it pertains to this discussion it is how you interact with others.

randarrow · 2013-11-27T05:29:54+00:00

It's a more subtle version of are you in control of the relationship or are they. No one really controls a relationship, all relationships are give and take. A non-relationship equivalent is an mc at an event or a meeting. The mc doesn't control the party goers, but the mc coordinates the event, speaks for the group, handles any hecklers and distractions and manages the flow of the event. In a sense, the mc (Master of Ceremony) sets the framework/frame of an event. The mc leads the groups through grace, humor, assertiveness, a smile, and a firm voice. Same as setting the frame of a relationship, meeting, or any interaction.

themaxx77 · 2013-11-28T15:31:27+00:00

Example of frame: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DONrKwEFgbE

Title	Trouble understanding frame.
Author	gagoono
Upvotes	25
Comments	20
Date	November 27, 2013 3:04 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1rjn8i/trouble_understanding_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/trouble-understanding-frame.8282 https://theredarchive.com/post/8282

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