Vulernability with Women

osbaldovargas · 2016-12-29T07:40:07+00:00

Only under the influence of Psychedelics

whatsthisgarg · 2016-12-29T06:11:32+00:00

First off, let me just say that from a purely semantic point of view, there is nothing good about being vulnerable. I can't think of any context when any good comes to anything when it was vulnerable.

Second, this general topic gets treated regularly, so do a search for "male weakness" or whatever, and get more perspectives.

Third, to your post: no specifics. Nobody knows what you're asking, really. "Expressing true emotions" doesn't really mean much. You want to talk about your lofty goals in which you might just fail? No problem, just be exciting, she'll forget anyway; unless you do fail, and then she will bring that shit right back to you at that future time. You want to talk about how you were bullied or have social anxiety? She will leave as soon as she can.

In the absence of your specific situation, let me tell you two stories, and you'll see how it all depends on the context.

A few years ago, my drinking buddy, one of the best friends I've ever had, killed himself. At the service, I was the last speaker, of many; I told an amusing, endearing story about him, people chuckled at the remembrance, and then when I had to get serious, I barely finished my words as I burst out crying. For just a few seconds. In front of hundreds. The next day I was aggressively hit on by his ex-wife and 3 of her slutty friends.

In contrast, when I was a skinny, incompetent turkey in my 20s, I lost something really important, and when I realized it was gone forever and I was absolutely helpless to stop the hard, hard consequences, I briefly teared up, and I mean for just 2 seconds before I pulled myself together. The woman I was with saw this, and I saw her see it, and I thought, like you, this wouldn't be a big deal. WRONG. That relationship ended within weeks, for other reasons, and she brought that completely irrelevant issue up more than once before that.

Context matters. You have to bring it from a strong foundation.

SeemedGood · 2016-12-29T07:51:15+00:00

From my experience, I feel like the woman in your life is honored that you would be vulnerable and real with them because it shows them that you trust them and you want to let them in and most likely it will strengthen the relationship.

I just feel like guys on here are so worried about being seen weak to women and want to play it too cool. It seems corny. There's strength in being vulnerable. Takes a strong person to do that.

That's how men think, and it's what women say, but it's definitely not how women feel.

Women (even your LTR/wife) will ask, nay beg, you to trust them and be vulnerable with them, actually believe that they want that, then stab you right in the heart as soon as you open it up, cry while they realize that they're stabbing you, and proceed to twist the knife with which they're stabbing you.

They don't want openness and vulnerability in men, they detest it, and they will punish it. They are programmed to do so and even if they truly believe that they want to be different, very few women (if any) will be consciously self-observant enough to be able to control their programmed reaction and re-program it.

fiat30 · 2016-12-29T06:01:30+00:00

Dragging women (or in fact anyone) to our insecurities is not strength, it's whining and it's not sexy. What is sexy, as I've come to experience of recent is to connect with others (including women) through the lens of inclusion and the way to do that is by being vulnerable.

Mark Manson is GOAT at describing it:

The greatest demonstration of power and security is to actually make oneself defenseless, to become as comfortable with one’s weaknesses as possible. - https://markmanson.net/vulnerability

My current understanding is that TRP journey is a total, unapologetic self-acceptable of the male nature. Vulnerability is the eventuality of that kind of IDGAF mindset.

Tommy_407 · 2016-12-29T05:03:47+00:00

From a general red pill consensus, there are varying levels of comfort building and vulnerability on the mans behalf that are appropriate elements of an LTR.

This is provided that you are still her personal alpha and everything else is going good.

Clearly the vulnerability should be kept to an absolute minimum, however, comfort building can be exercised with more room for error.

You should not ever look weak.

I don't even see the value or incentive in being 1% vulnerable with a girl who is a plate.

TheLaughingRhino · 2017-01-01T07:01:37+00:00

My observation and experience -

Vulnerability VS Weakness

If you are dealing with 90-95 percent of women, there is ZERO DIFFERENCE in their eyes regarding Vulnerability or Weakness. In their mind, if you can DO NOTHING FOR THEM, then everything that they don't like or don't want is weakness. These are "basic bitches" Your typical white liberal Western American entitled princess.

I'd say 5-8 percent of women were probably raised with strong father figures, had some kind of discipline growing up, competing in sports as a kid, have some semblance of basic self esteem, these women, while I would always say AWALT ( they have the same capacity to destroy you, but a very small number actually will consider the tradeoffs and risks versus reward of just acting completely reckless with their dating and relationships), I do believe there is a distinction between being vulnerable and being weak.

If you talk about how much you hate your job and you do nothing about it, even just the complaining, that's WEAK. It's weak because it does not benefit her in any way.

If you are kind to children and goof around with them and turn off the hard core stoicism and hardened outer shell and do something like teach a kid to catch a baseball or give them some stickers or show them how to box, she will see the benefit of you having good "father qualities" and "mate qualities", which is often what she wants, in this case, since it BENEFITS HER, and she is ATTRACTED TO YOU in some way, then this is the kind of ACCEPTABLE VULNERABILITY that can function with women in general and you can survive it.

There is the very rare case where a super Chad, I'm talking hard core top 1 percent Alpha Bucks, can show weakness and he's still golden, the reason is any girl, who is likely 4-6 SMV points lower than him, that lowers him enough to where he seems attainable to them. It humanizes the Super Chad to the point where she can feel entitled to having him and getting him over all the other girls.

I am generally very kind to children. Esp children of friends. I like kids. I do not want kids of my own. However I understand the base nature of kids and dealing with kids is one of the few social situations where you can let your guard down ( they generally have no motive to harm you) I do it because I want to do it. Sometimes I give them a little cash ( what kid doesn't like a few bucks to have in their pocket to buy some candy or a little toy) or I make sure I get them a little toy, if appropriate. While I do this because it's my base nature ( i..e IDGAF, but I will in this case), I also recognize that women see this and they like it. If they are attracted to me, it makes them like me more usually.

This will line into always be mysterious. Which to me is just never talk about yourself. It's not the most effective way to deal with people and generally I don't like most people enough to let them know anything about my life. When you do finally share a little nugget, to many women, again if they are attracted to you, that's gold to them. It's a form of vulnerability because they recognize you don't share much, you keep your own company, but you will with them.

TL/DR

If she's your typical basic bitch, everything to her is weakness if you and what you have to offer can do nothing for her. If you are Chad, she will fake everything to get what she wants.
If she understands risk vs reward more, but still AWALT, and if she's attracted to you, then if the behavior BENEFITS HER, then you can show vulnerability and have it work as an asset for you, but only if it's in your base nature anyway. She needs to see it as you are one way with everyone else, but to her perception, you are a "special way" with her. This always her to put herself above other women and people.

Biggest takeway - Be who you want to be, just be the best version of you. Do it for you and be true to you, don't do anything just to get some pussy. If it happens to get your pussy as a side benefit and fall out, then great. If not, so what. Be who you want to be and own it. Carry yourself like you own the room. Carry yourself like you can kill any other male in the room with your bare hands. Carry yourself with understated confidence where you are the hardest worker, the humblest, the gentleman and one who will protect his "tribe" as an Alpha. People should never be afraid to approach you, but always worried that they will disappoint you in some way. Be gentle when appropriate ( children, the elderly, at church, with dogs, etc) but fierce when necessary ( when its time to defend the tribe or lead it)

Where I disagree often with this subreddit is the idea of "white knighting" I do agree you just can't be a supplicating bitch with women. A boot licking covert contract carrying used tampon for her to shit on. That's no good. However I do think as she's an animal and you are an animal, there is a level of "protective quality" that is understated that women are drawn to and that "soft Alphas" and "pack leaders" do exhibit. An old school formality and chivalry that seems out of place and out of time that is more about your code of how you want to live your life, than it is to impress some basic bitch. But this only operationally will work if the people, esp women around you, understand your capacity for potential violence. Not that you'd hit a woman, but that you would defend your tribe on principle without any regard for yourself and you'd do it by sheer will, by sheer force of character. Liberal over feminized women will say in public that they abhor violence, but deep down, as long it's for their benefit and it's "justified", then they secretly love it.

Vulnerable is NOT BAD, it just have severely limited utility.

Don't let most people know jack shit about you. Not what you do for a living, not how much money you got, not when you have a birthday, not when you are in pain, nothing. Zero. You save yourself 80 percent of the problems associated with showing too much weakness.

RedPillHanSolo · 2016-12-29T08:18:18+00:00

Some from ECs (I don't remember who exactly) said that there are different flavors of being vulnerable. First there's voluntary vs involuntary exhibition of vulnerability. Women are attracted to latter and despise the former.

Some also classify being an addict as a vulnerability. Why women are attracted to addicts? It's simple: addicts have a fixation on getting high, a tunnel vision and literally don't give a shit about anything else. Natural IDGAF.

Andgelyo · 2016-12-29T21:16:14+00:00

Would rather vent to friends than to a LTR, however I understand that emotions are hard to control at times and I would try to keep it an ** absolute minimum**. Also the timing you show emotions is imperative. Too little emotions and you're seen as a cold blooded asshole( which may work to your advantage) and too much you'll be seen as a emotionally weak teddy bear. Either way, I wouldn't go over board on it.

Kalidane · 2016-12-31T23:00:33+00:00

Do you remember that time James Bond as played by Sean Connery displayed vulnerability?

K

Dannydanny1 · 2017-01-01T06:34:39+00:00

Being whiny and self-pitying is unattractive but sharing something personal is an incredibly powerful way of demonstrating trust and building intimacy. A guy who is otherwise stoic that is prepared to trust you with his vulnerability is catnip to women - it's a privilege and anyone who is not an asshole would feel closer to someone after they display vulnerability - trust needs to be reciprocal. For a ONS no, but for a LTR it's essential - I'm never going to want to tell you my vulnerabilities unless you do too and it's hard to really love someone you can't trust with your feelings and who won't trust you with theirs. Sure, there are shit people who only want you to prop them up, but decent people want to share that shit. I could never love a guy who didn't trust me enough to be vulnerable. I don't understand why you would want to be with someone without sharing that - like, the feeling of unconditional love is knowing you can show those sides without being afraid of rejection. Being too afraid denies you the benefit of feeling accepted and denies her the intimacy of being trusted.

masha1990 · 2016-12-29T04:57:16+00:00

I don't know how they feel but I wish they would realize it dosent make them look weak. I wish my ex would have opened up because he didn't. And the lack of depth and communication as well as him really not being their when I needed him caused our break up. It really hurts even after two months that I had to break up with someone I finally fell in love with because he couldn't be even slightly vulnerable.

villa_gotaha · 2016-12-29T05:09:08+00:00

I've faked vulnerability before. When getting "vulnerable" you should NEVER tell her how you feel. Instead you tell her what she wants to hear in a way that makes her feel how you want her to feel. The idea is to maintain control so that you don't look like a pussy. You should then immediately counter her heartfelt response with aggressive game.

Think like Chris Brown. He treats women significantly worse compared to how he worships them on stage. Despite that, women are so manipulated by his music that they don't think that it's a big deal he beat up Rihanna.

Title	Vulernability with Women
Author	blackkzeus
Upvotes	3
Comments	23
Date	December 29, 2016 4:47 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5kuyp5/vulernability_with_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/vulernability-with-women.65828 https://theredarchive.com/post/65828

Comments