What not to do to.

pcadrian · 2013-12-13T05:17:45+00:00

Ha. Notice some of these are something that the guy has to do, but they rarely make a difference.

Coming to the door to pick someone up.

Last night, the temperatures dropped below 0 Fahrenheit. No thank you, I'm staying in my nice, warm car!

Bringing flowers or other tokens of affection to the first date.

Flowers? Shit, the only time I gave my ex flowers was on Valentine's Day (and we dated for 1.5 years!). She better still have them, cause they were expensive as hell! Seriously though, why would I bring any "token of affection" on a first date? I don't even know you (it's our first date), so I might not even like you! I'm not paying for dinner either.

Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it “hanging out.”

But that's what I do on first dates. I hang out with you, to see if I like you.

Romantic gestures like writing poems.

This is straight out of MY old blue pill book. Holy shit, I did this too many times. I wrote some damn good poems too. Did it make a difference? Nope. Not in the long run.

Turning electronics off and just being with one another.

This might be the only thing on this list that I agree with.

The biggest one that got me laughing is #10, specifically this:

A date does not have to be a precursor to sex, and you shouldn’t be disappointed if it isn’t because you should never assume that it will be

What is it a precursor to? The Friendzone? Why are we going on a date then? I always make damn sure that every date I go on has the potential to lead to sex. If it doesn't meet a certain criteria (can we spend time alone?), then I don't agree to the date.

When a woman agrees to go on a date with me, I always presume that she wants to sleep with me. I'm not disappointed if it doesn't happen, because I know that it is going to happen eventually (with you, or someone else).

TRPNewJersey · 2013-12-13T03:57:09+00:00

I read her bio at the end of the article and almost vomited.

Part time writer. Full time bad ass bitch. Brunch-having New Yorker.

culofiesta · 2013-12-13T08:10:25+00:00

Great thing about this list is they are all things women have consciously destroyed.

Want to be treated like a lady and picked up at the door. Try acting like a lady.

Want to go dancing at a nice place, learn how to actually dance and not twerk or booty pop. No pole dancing.

But they want everyone else to change for them? Go feminism.

bankruptedcasino · 2013-12-13T16:04:02+00:00

When a woman thinks about these romantic gestures, she's not thinking about an average dude [2]. She's thinking about Mr. Dreamy [3].

Can we get this hyperlinked to the sidebar, with the links for reference? I don't think there is any better explanation for why romantic gestures go nowhere than this right here.

dhammy · 2013-12-13T11:01:27+00:00

I noticed the title. "Old Fashioned dating habits.." and my first thought was "Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it".

imgoingstag · 2013-12-13T09:56:56+00:00

Personally, I agree with going to the door to pick someone up. I agree with this for two reasons.

1) It sets you apart by showing you have some class. I see it as a trait the wolf alpha would use to pick up a girl he's interested in pursuing, not the pump-and-dump broad. Regardless, only pick-up at the door if you want to.

2) I feel the 'here' text is a cop-out for her. She knows you're waiting, but will still take her time finishing getting ready. How long after sending the 'here' text did you wait in your car for her to come out? Ten minutes? Fifteen? If she's expecting me, I'm going to surprise her and catch her off guard by knocking loud as fuck on that door and not by sending a text or call she can ignore.

Besides, if I'm waiting at a door for more than 3-4 minutes after knocking a few times, I'm gone and on to the next.

Archwinger · 2013-12-13T16:16:52+00:00

That entire list is nearly, cut-and-paste-verbatim, things that kill attraction, kill respect, and make men not get the girl.

Generally, the advice provided tells men to treat a girl like she's special, just for being a girl, and just for agreeing to go on a date with a guy. Like the guy is lucky just to have a girl willing to spend a little time and attention on him.

Nothing kills attraction worse than looking like you're trying too hard. That reeks of desperation and lack of options. Like the guy is eager to please and genuinely worried about screwing this date up, because getting dates and attention from girls doesn't happen that often with him. Guys who aren't desirable to women in general and come off as desperate and try-hard are a turn-off.

Likewise, when a guy pulls out all the stops and lavishes a woman with the royal treatment, when she hasn't yet demonstrated her value to him and shown that she's worthy, this actually makes the woman feel less special. When he does that for her, unearned, on the first date, that shows that he would have done it for anybody willing to go out with him. That she's not special. That all of this attention and validation he's tossing out is a very cheap commodity that anybody could acquire easily (when at the same time, the time and attention she's giving him in the form of a date is supposed to be treated as a high-value commodity, worthy of going to these great lengths just because the guy is so lucky to have a girl willing to go on a date.)

MockingDead · 2013-12-13T17:34:14+00:00

My issue with a lot of these types of articles is that there's a baseline assumption that the woman is this angel who you should be blessed to have in your life. Most the time I hear a girl talk about these articles, it's usually the one who's plowed her way through most of the dorm/bar/guys, and is now asking herself why guys don't do these old fashion tricks.

The mental switch that went off after discovering TRP had to do with breaking that assumption/paradigm. How a lot of the time, I'm actually the one in an interaction who has worked to improve myself, and is continuing to improve myself (while the other individual, guy or girl, is resting in the background making pot-shot statements about how someone needs to love them for who they are).

Feels like this article is a good example of addressing a symptom to a systemic mental infection of how the relationship dynamic has evolved.

Title	What not to do to.
Author	MockingDead
Upvotes	11
Comments	19
Date	December 13, 2013 3:53 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1srsr2/what_not_to_do_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/what-not-to-do-to.8800 https://theredarchive.com/post/8800

Comments