When do you stop emotionally abusing her?

JamesSkepp · 2018-04-16T08:45:04+00:00

I used the word "abuse" in the title because according to some of my friends this is what I am doing to this woman.

Your friends are operating from within womens' frame - they are shaming you b/c they want you to accept female sexual strategy as the "non shameful" solution. This is how far we've gone in the BP - it's an ABUSE not to commit to a girl that wants you to commit to her.

This leads me to wonder at what point I have a moral responsibility in this situation.

You have the moral responsibility to the point where she finds a cooler dude and decides to dump you on the spot b/c he has a bigger dick and you failed a shit test. To solve that moral problem, I'm pretty sure she consulted JBP and read a few philosophical books.

I have to admit that my conscience is telling me not to start up anything with this woman again, to let her get over me and find another man.

If she's anything pretty, she will have another guy under a month. It's also entirely possible that she already has a replacement in the pipeline. Do this enough times and you'll learn that your apparent "moral dilemma" is only in your head, certainly not in hers. She will bowl her eyes out, next day she'll hop on tinder for some validation (!!!not the commitement she demands from you!!!)

How and when do you drop plates out of "morality" if ever?

Don't drop plates b/c you think "she deserves better". If you think like that - you are basically saying you're not good enough - thats your inner game letting you know you have work to do. Been there, done that.

Regardless - if she decides to hamster the "breakup" as your fault - whatever the reasons you had (moral or not) won't matter at all for her. For the same reason, don't try to change you're friends' minds that you're not abusing her - find new friends that don't think like that.

Constatine7 · 2018-04-16T07:27:35+00:00

Careful she doesn't try to get pregnant mate.

see_the · 2018-04-16T07:08:08+00:00

She has been trying to manipulate you into giving her your resources (mainly time) by pushing for a relationship repeatedly. There is nothing wrong with cutting her out of your life if she is just trying to extract something from you. Her emotional display worked really well because it got you hooked; now don't stay attached to the hook. Leave before she pulls some more intense shit

redhawkes · 2018-04-16T08:36:47+00:00

Dude, you've been trapped into a guilt trip. Block.delete.ghost her on everything.

Flying_Wingback · 2018-04-16T08:52:03+00:00

I’ve been through this. She’s the type that will scratch your car if you don’t give in. Run!

tb87670 · 2018-04-16T08:34:24+00:00

The one having a meltdown and trying to emotionally manipulate you needs to be cut out. Every time I removed one of those women from my life it has been a gigantic weight off my shoulders, mind, and soul. And this is a guy who doesn't buy into spiritual stuff saying a word like soul. Those types of women are the sort that will drain you of life slowly and surely in their attempt to bring you down and tame you, yet once you have been "domesticated" and accept their terms they do not want you and will find a new rodeo bull that will buck her off like you used to.

When to stop any sort of Red Pilled behavior with a woman? Don't stop it. But if she turns out to be fairly stable candidate you can add little bits of comfort/blue pill into the mix every now and then, evaluate if she is still stable, and go from there. With practice you will find the right ratio to mix things you just need to take baby steps so you don't completely morph into a BP soy-boy within a month and freak out her natural urges for an alpha into leaving you. Regardless of what this site says the stable women that are not ugly and are capable of a proper relationship are out there, but do not skimp at all in vetting and take your time. Impatience is how lots of guys shotgun wedding themselves into hateful marriages.

dr_warlock · 2018-04-16T11:17:37+00:00

She’s an ‘adult’. If she wants out, she would stop contacting you and accepting your offers. It is not your job to protect her from herself. Never forget that 90% of the human population will consider a woman’s sexual strategy the ‘moral side’. Fuck that. You’re out for you, not your friends and not her. Your strategy is numero uno, anyone that impedes that is the enemy. Be selfish, not sacrificial.

You should already be pursuing others out of principle, but certainly to prepare for them to dropout on their own.

JamesSkepp · 2018-04-16T07:11:16+00:00

This an unhealthy woman. Stay away from those for your own sake.

You don't owe women anything. That includes the fact that you are not responsible for their behavior. If they look you up it is because they want to. That's on them.

You look out for you. The woman you describe seems unstable. Bad shit can happen to you. That's why you should drop her. Not because she is some fragile snowflake that needs to be protected from herself...although true...that is not your job.

Zech4riah · 2018-04-16T08:28:42+00:00

Good job keeping a casual plate for over 6 months.

My plates usually drop after 3-4 months after they have overtly asked commitment for 1-2 times. After that they silently fade away and stop contacting me and/or flaking dates I initiate.

Otherwise this is something I've been thinking too but I haven't had to actually deal with this kind of situation because (like I wrote above) my plates drop before I even "start abusing" them.

Good opener for discussion tho. I'm looking forward what the ECs are going to answer.

MattyAnon · 2018-04-16T11:37:16+00:00

OP - you have bought into her frame of having a sexual relationship without commitment as being "abuse".

This belongs on AskTRP, where I'd be happy to address this question.

DatingCoach111 · 2018-04-16T09:29:49+00:00

The only person abusing her is herself. Like you, she has a choice to leave the situation if it is not suitable to her.

Lambdal7 · 2018-04-16T07:44:15+00:00

You can make it easier by being an asshole to her that you don't care about her or by being needy and weird. This drops attraction levels and gives her less to stop her from ending it.

AlternativeDisk · 2018-04-16T11:28:50+00:00

mate, this is a megatonne rape allegation - with your name and "fuck" written on the side of it - waiting to be dropped. Abort, bleach, burn with fire.

Kinbaku_enthusiast · 2018-04-16T09:05:45+00:00

This leads me to wonder at what point I have a moral responsibility in this situation. How and when do you drop plates out of "morality" if ever?

When it bothers me. If I feel morally conflicted about it, then it's a weight on my conscience and I either try to straighten it out, or I drop the plate. I wish I were a sociopath sometimes, but I have a pretty strong moral view. I don't typically bring my conscience to theredpill subreddit, since this is more of a "how" place than a "should" place, if you get my drift.

When it comes to morals there are typically three ways to examine them in any situation.

What is everybody else doing? It's very hard to succeed when your competition is less morally inclined than you. It's like bringing a knife to a gun duel, because you think guns are immoral. Similarly it's like always being honest in a relationship when you know that the people you date aren't even capable of honesty.
What if everybody acted like this? This is a derivative of the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. Obviously this and the first question are hard to reconcile. There is always the danger of getting into a prisoner's dilemma situation where everybody rats on everybody and it's good to try to cultivate a surrounding where people are playing with a more moral ruleset.
Can I live with myself if I do this? Morals aren't just things we think about, tests have shown that apes have morals too. If an alpha is angry from something and then beats up a beta who didn't deserve it, other tribe members will reconcile him (whereas they wouldn't if he challenged the alpha and wouldn't normally groom such a low status male). So there is some degree of morals that's innate. And not everybody (certainly not I) can live with the idea of making things worse for others for our own benefit, or to enable addictions and the like. I think the question often shouldn't be: "Should or shouldn't I do this?" but rather "Could I live with and respect myself if I do this?", because if not, it will just cause you to do self-destructive things to punish yourself for acting "badly".

I think if you ask yourself these three questions, you'll arrive at the answer you seek.

Though you should fucking realize that you aren't abusing her; if it is abuse, she is abusing herself. She is the one taking initiative to find you again. Your only crime is not being who she wants you to be and not wanting what she wants you to want. That may be sufficient for for you to break things, or you may be willing to deal with the drama for the plate, that's up to you.

Coroshi · 2018-04-16T09:39:46+00:00

The whole morality thing is based on Judeo-Christianity, which is based on an existence of an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient deity. I do not believe in this deity. I consider myself as a neutral, external force. If I am the one to break her, so be it. If I decide to back off, someone else will do it or better yet, she might break someone. At least in the first scenario I'm getting laid.

This is the thought process. Of course there's the altruism being an evolutionary favorable strategy, but I do not apply it to women, only the brotherhood.

AloofusMaximus · 2018-04-16T11:52:48+00:00

Eject, sooner than later. She's not going to stop giving you drama. And the hell with the "abuse" concept, you're both consenting adults right?!

strikethrough123 · 2018-04-16T12:45:07+00:00

Go beta. Tell her you love her. Buy her a shitty gift. Fail a couple shit tests. Reveal your "emotional" side. She'll be gone within a week.

chrisname · 2018-04-16T13:38:10+00:00

I would have quit at the "I need you" comment because that shows she has an unhealthy attachment to you and is honestly kind of creepy. It's kinder for both of you if you rip the band-aid off at that point. Continuing is kind of cruel, but I wouldn't say you had a moral obligation (if there is such a thing) to dump her if you haven't misled her in any way, which it doesn't sound like you have.

It's not emotional abuse because she has the choice of staying with you or not. You have been selfish but not abusive. To call this abuse and lay all the blame at your feet is not only unfair on you, it also takes away the woman's personal responsibility and agency over her own life. It puts her into a helpless victim frame, when she should really be taking control over her life, realising you aren't good for her, and leaving you. Yet these people probably consider themselves feminists.

Title	When do you stop emotionally abusing her?
Author	CharlesX0l0
Upvotes	15
Comments	39
Date	April 16, 2018 6:59 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/8clo7u/when_do_you_stop_emotionally_abusing_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/when-do-you-stop-emotionally-abusing-her.49722 https://theredarchive.com/post/49722

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