Why are you here then??

guffwave · 2016-05-17T02:35:36+00:00

I'll try not to be too cold but you handled that entire situation pretty poorly. Getting upset because she didn't want to fool around in a movie theater is childish, and you blew any shot you had by acting like that. A chick saying no doesn't always mean no, it often means "not right now" but if you react with anger and bitterness then you lose any shot.

Read the sidebar and maintain your cool. If she agreed to a second date then all you had to do was let things flow and escalate when you get a green light. If she shuts you down then you ease up and build the momentum again.

Also, I hope you realize that texting her afterwards, especially a text like that, didn't do anything except confirm she made the right choice by shutting you down. You gotta chill. There are always better girls out there, so if it doesn't work out with one then find another. But you've gotta change your mindset and the way you handle adversity.

Red_Swords · 2016-05-17T02:49:35+00:00

1) Your text comes off as really desperate. Like, really, really desperate.

2) As others have said, movie dates are generally pretty awkward and a bad idea with girls you aren't really, really familiar with already. Try something more interesting/exciting, that doesn't involve silently sitting alone for two hours in public. If you aren't getting any in private, you probably won't be getting any in theaters.

3) If she ghosts you, fuck it. There are like 7 billion people in the world, and over 50% are women; get over it and move on, "holding them accountable" shows a big lack of outcome independence. If she isn't the one pursuing you, you're losing the game; don't play a losing game.

You sound like a teenager, so I'm not going to try to actively shit on you. Just pointing out the most obvious mistakes so you can improve on them in the future.

Remember, a swing and a miss is better than sitting at home playing league of legends. Good on you for getting out there and trying.

Theophagist · 2016-05-17T04:01:31+00:00

Don't feed this troll. For someone to be on TRP spouting the nonsense and vitriol the rest of reddit expects to hear just doesn't seem that plausible to me. Either you've never read anything on TRP or you're trolling, option 3 is intense stupidity.

divorcedbp · 2016-05-17T03:51:13+00:00

Translation - "Please let me know if I didn't meet your standards since I am thirsty and desperate. Also, please please don't ghost on me because I am emotionally insecure and can't handle rejection."

Jesus dude, I can hear all of the moisture being sucked out of the room from here.

kez88 · 2016-05-17T03:46:18+00:00

Can mods delete this troll post plz

Apexk9 · 2016-05-17T01:52:11+00:00

You're a loser.

Who thefuck takes a date to the movies are you 11? Did your parents drop you off?

guffwave · 2016-05-17T02:50:45+00:00

Never, ever take a girl to the movies. Jesus christ man. Stop what you are doing and read the sidebar some more.

Fuck! I got pissed off just reading what you wrote.

The texts you sent were unnecessary, and are not coming from a place of abundance. You were not "holding her accountable", you were her upset wittle bitch.

I guess you're not as good of a person as you claim to be, good day.

Ahahahahahaa! Her and her friends call you willy wonka now.

Kid, I get it. This is hard work, and the chips are not in your favor, in any of our favor really. All I can say is the bright spot in all of this is that you are actually interacting with females.

You fucked up. Calibrate. THINK about all of the ways you could have made this a better situation for yourself. Next time incorporate at least a couple of those things. Then do this post-mortem on your shitty dates again. You got this lil' bro. You can do this.

Assassin1476 · 2016-05-17T04:28:41+00:00

You have too much anger young Anakin. Read the sidebar or smoke a blunt and just chill. You wen't atomic nuclear at the wrong moment for the wrong reasons.

Elementary1251 · 2016-05-17T05:40:35+00:00

abundance mentality gets thrown around a lot on this sub but basically imagine that this girl is an apple ok ? You got a barrel full of apples (if you don't imagine you do). Would you get mad because you can't have this apple right now ? Just eat another apple.

Also, it's just an apple. It's nice but it's no hamburger. Get it ? You made her the hamburger.

Hate to tell you this since you're already a bit pissed off and you were proud of yourself for "holding her accountable" but you made her day. To a girl who can't have sex a guy getting pissy over her ghosting is basically orgasm.

casemodsalt · 2016-05-17T01:59:42+00:00

Is ghosting where they just don't reply any more?

You should be able to tell what kind of girl she was based on her personality. Not trying to brag but it's pretty easy to do this. Most girls are not good at pretending for very long.

"If soemthing seems odd, it probably is"

Idahno · 2016-05-17T02:48:19+00:00

Dude, read the sidebar.

People are giving you shit about the movies, and yeah it's not the best date ever, but you can make it work. What's apalling is what happened next, you handled the rejection like a bitch. "lmk if I wasn't good enough"? -> Seeking validation. "don't ghost me, you're not as good a person" -> Needy, shaming, passive aggressive. That's prime beta behavior.

You gotta stop putting that pussy on a pedestal. Read the sidebar, again if you have already and monk out while you finish swallowing that pill and work the anger out.

TRP117 · 2016-05-17T03:13:05+00:00

If the girl doesn't respond well to traditional moves on the first date, next them. I'm not saying you need to fuck on a first date, but at least some kind of sexual/romantic touching beyond what friends do. Remember this is the MINIMUM. You need to solidify your position as a potential sexual match, not as a friend. Try to at least make out though.

Number two, if she rejects you, don't send her anything. Zero. Zip. Nada. Don't give her the sensation of a desperate guy wanting to pursue her.

Also seems like you're angry. Read the side bar, lift, then come back. I understand anger over some topics, but a failed second date shouldn't leave you pissed. Don't invest that much into her.

jeezydasnowman · 2016-05-17T03:26:18+00:00

That's literally the most insecure text you could have sent. SIDEBAR

MGHOW_ATL · 2016-05-17T04:58:13+00:00

Man, these cats are giving you good advice. We all hate ghosting. Get over it, they do it. Calling them out, "holding them accountable", etc reeks of insecurity and is 100% backwards. In that arena the one with the vagina is the real predator. Next time, move on, don't be a butt hurt baby about it, and try to let go of your ego when your brothers are trying to help you.

2016-05-17T07:24:00+00:00

You're either a troll or an idiot. -100 comment karma, jeez.

If you act on girls like you act here, no wonder they ghost you. First, you're beta. You've read enough theory to try acting like alpha. But you're still an AFC and these negative emotions make you come out like a self-centered, insecure and fragile douchebag, kid.

If you don't, well, you're not acting natural either here (which is childish, bashing your chest like that) or with girls (then you're lying about yourself, don't try to beat them at their own game).

wetassassin420 · 2016-05-17T14:09:23+00:00

Why is this shit here on trp? This is asktrp level at best. You failed when you took her to the theater. Worst date idea

skittles_man · 2016-05-17T15:12:02+00:00

Literally M'lady: The Post.

Dude, I don't even know where to begin. First of all, taking a girl you barely know to the movies is a horrible idea. Number one, you're paying a good chunk of money to take the girl to a place where you can build very little rapport. It's dark, you can't talk, and only a 6th grader would think that they were going to fondle some titties in the theater. Save going to the movies for yourself or going with friends.

Second, as other people have commented texting is for logistics or for getting the girl emotionally excited (if you're good with text game). The text you sent her gave off the impression that you're extremely needy. I cringed at the "if not LMK". The second text was worse. Fuck holding women accountable. You can't hold them accountable, all you can do is hold yourself accountable, which you failed to do in this interaction.

It's all good though, learn from your mistakes and as others have said, keep reading the sidebar.

guffwave · 2016-05-17T01:43:09+00:00

Why not just keep her as a friend, try to bang her friends?

guffwave · 2016-05-17T03:38:09+00:00

But honestly, I think she was a virgin dude, she said her last relationship was over 2 years ago, and she met him in such a simp manner. She was like, she met him in a church group 5 years ago, and they agreed they should start dating. When I heard that I was like, somethings not right. She said she didn't like GOT, because the sex, and nude scenes made her uncomfortable. But she had some very nice tits.. Very nice indeed.

Title	Why are you here then??
Author	guffwave
Upvotes	0
Comments	69
Date	May 17, 2016 1:40 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4jojbt/why_are_you_here_then/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/why-are-you-here-then.59174 https://theredarchive.com/post/59174

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