Daddy use to scream at me. At a certain age I started screaming back. Once I realized in a fair fight, Ol’Man didn’t stand a chance, arrogant could properly be ascribed to the way I’d talk back to the man who put a roof over my head. Watched Grandpa and Dad go verbal rounds. Watched one of my three uncles get into screaming matches with Grandpa less frequently. All of our dispositions being fairly easy going, rub us the wrong way though, it’s like we were itching for an reason to raise our voice.

Fast forward to my first girlfriend: we got into screaming matches all the same. I thought it was normal behavior. I was under the impression that because we were hot blooded; emotions running wild, it meant we really cared about each other. TRP introduced me to Stoicism and all that did for my first live in plate was put the concept into my head, that my yelling was poor behavior. It did nothing to prevent our yelling at one another...in public.

Who’s fault was it that I was more than willing to get loud? Arguably you could blame Dad. There’s zero doubt in my mind, his way of raising me influenced my false belief that it was okay to loose your temper and get loud when angered. Great, we’ve identified the root cause of the problem, but what is Dad going to do for me to fix it? Jack shit. Even if he wanted to, realistically there isn’t anything, anybody can do to fix my anger issue, except myself.

Genetics, freak accidents, blind sided by a rare medical condition, society as a fucking whole, “a world wide pandemic” for example or the way your parents raised you. While widely different they all have a significant, direct impact on you and the life you live. Life itself is going to throw the most bizarre and hindering events your way at times you don’t really need them. While life is widely out of your control, how you react and handle the situation is your responsibility. The minute you identify a problem, you have three options to rectify it;

  • Acceptance
  • Change
  • Departure

When I got the results from my MRI for a completely unrelated issue, out of nowhere they told me I had cancer. After the call, I went to the gym, did my HIIT and headed off to work. There wasn’t anything I could do for myself. At that point my life was in another man’s hands. I didn’t bother telling anyone until after the surgery was a success. There wasn’t a damn thing I or anyone but my surgeon could do for me. The only logical option was accepting my fate. Whatever that turned out to be. A good portion of life is shoulder shrugging what is throws at you and moving on.

Screaming at people, especially those you love when you’re upset is not okay. I clearly understand this now. It took concentrated effort to avoid blowing up at people. Especially when they decide to get loud with me first. It still rarely happens. Being the lesser of two evils, if I get loud and start cussing, it's directed at the sky and the situation I find myself in versus any one individual. Still vastly inappropriate. It’s not a daily but a life long struggle. Love you Pops.

If you can not accept a situation and you lack the ability to change yourself, it or adapt; leave. What other option do you really have? Tolerate the bull shit long enough and it’ll eventually corrupt you for the worse.

Recently I had to walk away from arguably one of my favorite 9-5s. It was fulfilling, getting to help the community. It was both physically and mentally engaging, yet there was an issue. Specifically the head volunteer; a lovely lady and I truly mean that but she’d grown lazy and condescending with her tenure. I am not the first to walk away from an otherwise fantastic organization because of her attitude. The coordinator is and was well aware of this fact. While he cares, he does nothing to up-roost the nest she’s built over the past fifteen years.

She is set in her ways. There is no amount of worth wild effort on my end that is going to change her. I am not going to bend my will to her ways. Nor am I going to accept her poor attitude and behavior. There exist zero desire inside of me to continue to butt heads with a grown women, I technically out rank. So I resigned from my position. After failing to circumvent her tyranny, I was left with no logical answer except leaving.