Okay. It's your turn to ask the questions, Ms. "Thirty Nine". (39 my ass. Nice way to game the search. But a bit obvious, no?)
Anyway, let's do this! Fire away
Do you pull out the chair?
Yup. Just before you sit down.
open the door?
Yes, but only for old ladies.
Kiss passionately?
Sure. For a few seconds. But I prefer positions that make kissing pretty much impossible. You feel me?
Keep a clean house?
Definitely. Now that I have no wife or girlfriend to fuck the place up.
Have a career?
An awesome one. And I keep all of what I earn. It's pretty good to be me these days!
Like to travel
Yeah, but well, I was never that good at basketball. Don't JUDGE ME!
Stay healthy?
I bet I can outrun your ass any day. I can also out lift you and out work you. Hell, I can do just about everything better than you except perhaps suck a dick. Never tried that. But I bet YOU have!
Like kids?
Yes. Well, my own anyway. They are all pretty cool little human beings. In fact,
"They are my world!"
(Damn, that felt good. I think I get why they say this now)
But I bet yours are a nightmare, with an out of touch narcissist like you for a mom.
Enjoy the outdoors?
Yes. However far away from you I can get.
respond when texted?
When I decide to, yes. See. Men have these little things called "Jobs" and "Obligations" and "Responsibilities" Texting is not always at the top of our priority list because we have to "earn a living" and "pay the bills". I am using big words on you. Sorry. Continue.
Communicate maturely
You caught my sarcasm there! Nice.
put your lady on a pedestal
Well, sure. I guess - once she comes back from the taxidermist. But that's a bit bizarre - even for me.
Look. Is this going anywhere? Your questions are lame AF, so let's get to the point here. What kind of man would "do it" for you?
Just altogether be good looking, act in chivalry, and always treat me like a lady
Okay. You are certifiably nuts.
Good luck with that you fucking dingbat.
You are lying about your age, you have kids, and this desperate attempt to use your attractiveness at your age to get dates instead of focusing on your character is pathetic.
That "little white lie" shit is going to bite you in the ass with any good man who dares to even give you a chance. But you cannot help yourself, can you.
Goodbye San Francisco. And good luck finding a good looking chivalrous housekeeper man to pay your bills.
FML
Credit to /u/goodmansaysfuckyou for the original
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