Getting over someone

jjlew922 · 2020-09-17T17:09:41+00:00

Sounds like compound grief. Couple of things: (1) did he resemble in any way (personality, looks, demeanor, etc) someone from your past who you felt abandoned by? If so, you may be grieving the loss of the relationship of origin so lean into that pain to heal, journaling helps. (2) you may be grieving the fantasy bond you created in envisioning a future with him. You’re not actually grieving the person, you’re grieving the loss of a future you had hoped for and fantasized in your head. That’s why it’s so important in dating to be rooted in reality and to catch yourself when you drift off to la-la-land. Remind yourself it’s ok to have these feelings of hope but you’re a HVW who knows that until this man has met your standards and you’ve truly had the time to see his character (6 mos min), you’re keeping your feelings in check and centered in reality.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-09-17T16:01:33+00:00

Well this is a lesson not to get too attached too quickly.

Do you go on walks? Exercise? Draw? There's a lot of crafty hobbies where it's more technical so you don't have to be super artsy if you're not, like cross stitch.

Are you talking to your friends?

2020-09-18T02:45:07+00:00

This could go on for many more months but you will get through it. It’s like a drug addiction. When you think of him, think of something unrelated to him that disgusts you to help your brain disassociate him with feel good things.

nycgirlhere · 2020-09-18T04:23:59+00:00

dopamine withdrawal sis.

workout, read a book, hang out with friends, and replace bad behavior with good ones.

Title	Getting over someone
Author	pazzom
Upvotes	8
Comments	4
Date	September 17, 2020 8:17 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askfds/comments/iufatg/getting-over-someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/getting-over-someone.1629017 https://theredarchive.com/post/1629017

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