Good day. Background: Active Duty military currently on deployment. Will be missing the holidays because of unexpected extension on deployment. Due to special needs child, current geo-bachelor away from home and I am gone M-F but home on weekends. Lots of stress at home with holidays and now death in the family necessitating attending funeral over the holidays. Question: Is this a shit test and did I handle it correctly?

Situation: With the death in family, I am working Emergency Leave to get home ASAP for the funeral. Wife is stressed. We use electronic communication (email, social media) to connect and share information. Wife's social media feed has a new meme image posted. Text of meme follows:

1.Stop what you are doing 2.Take a deep breath 3.Imagine what it would look like if your husband was in charge of Christmas 4.Laugh uncontrollably

The usual 'likes' and 'laughing emojis' follow from our friends and social circle.

In the end though, I feel disrespected. I look at a couple of ways. One, her solipsism determines her reality and she is stressed with events and holidays. She sees this as a way to garner support and feelz from her social network 'sisterhood.' The other way is she feels all alone (First Officer running the ship) and this is her way of publicly (or unconsciously) venting her frustration with her absent Captain.

I am not a long time reader of MRP, but I'd say I'm about 9 months in to my MAP. The old me would have Beta'ed out and rationalized this post. The 'growing-up-into-a-man' me sees this as mockery and disrespect. I sent her a private email as follows:

"Hi [wife], I read your last FB post and I'm perplexed. Let me share with you how I read it... First pick some Big Event/Requirement/Must-Do you have to handle because of circumstances. Then,... 1.Stop what you are doing 2.Take a deep breath 3.Imagine what it would look like if your WIFE was in charge of the Big Event/Requirement/Must-Do 4.Laugh uncontrollably I get it. Right now you are under crazy amounts stress and I couldn't be more proud of your resiliency right now and blowing off steam through 'funny' FB memes is one of those ways to rally emotional support from your social media friends.

But, You. Are. Married. To. Me. This post is out there on your Public page and I wonder what people may infer by this?

I can't help but see this as mockery and disrespect and I'm wondering if you really feel that way about me...as in, you wouldn't trust me to handle Big Events/Requirements/Must-Dos or more importantly, be present for our family. I would give the world to be home with you and our family for Christmas, especially right now. But right now all I am thinking is What. The. Fuck!?! 😐"

I am barely into the 12-levels of Dread and recognize the value of Lift, STFU, etc. But the reason I am approaching askMRP (and not askTRP) is married men (I've found on this Reddit) are more pragmatic about Dread as it pertains to marriages with families. Anger Phase/Full Rambo isn't an option but I am working towards practical establishment of boundaries (Read and re-read NMMNG) and owning my feelings and plainly stating I feel disrespected by her right now.

Bottom line: Growing and learning to internalize RP tenets to become a better man. Drawing line with wife and her perceived disrespect.

Correct and measured response or making mountain out of a mole hill? Discuss.