Help with a choice

mindfulbutgutless · 2018-01-05T21:11:22+00:00

She feels a lot of shame and regret and guilt

Of course she is....that she got caught. Answer your inquiry, I would say Option 2 with the mindset of she swallowed him whole. Hope for the best, realize you are not going to get the full truth, then plan for the worst. Go plan is the stay plan.

drjamesstone · 2018-01-05T21:22:22+00:00

There was a time where I'd be pissed, as you are, that she think she can get away with lying to me.

Then I woke up a little.

I'd be pissed at myself for putting her in Chad's path, by limping along such that she sought the connection with someone else. That's on you mate.

So here's how I would proceed. I'd emotionally disconnect for a bit. Be a great Dad and not just for show, because they're your kids.

If she asks, telling her you're "moving on". Not that you've moved on but that you're working on moving on. And say nothing else.

She wants to fuck, fuck her. She wants to talk? Let her talk.

But getting her to trickle the truth out will do almost no good. I can tell you, at worst, she's been getting fucked anally by this guy for years. At best, she only wanted to. Neither of those outcomes will leave you feeling any better so just start "moving on".

If you cant' live under those conditions, lawyer up and find the next Unicorn.

snatch_haggis · 2018-01-05T21:25:43+00:00

Okay, here's the deal man.

You will never know what really happened.

Stop asking.

You said you want to stay in the marriage and you're willing to accept what happened.

So accept it, whatever happened. Stop picking at the scab and move on.

You're also being wildly unattractive with all of this hamstering. Just stop. Work on you, lift, sidebar, STFU. You know the drill.

The MRP anger phase is gonna be particularly hard for you, but the same principle applies... Everything in your life pre-MRP and prior to you owning your shit that happened?

It's your fault. You created the patterns that let this shit happen. Own that and move forward.

Not RP per se but I read a bunch of books on infidelity, at one point. The book Private Lies and After The Affair are decent. Many of them are terrible. General consensus is it takes 2-3 years to fully get past this.

But you're made a of stronger stuff. So move on from it now.

red-sfpplus · 2018-01-05T21:40:14+00:00

I have been to more work parties that I can count. I had another female Director I work with have a few to many drinks and start to unbutton my shirt IN FRONT OF MY WIFE in the middle of the casino floor in Vegas.

She fucked him. Period. End of story. You know how many times I have fucked my wife in the hallway of the hotel, or the bathroom, or whatever? Do you honestly think people need to lay down on a bed in a hotel room to have sex? No they do not.

I have got double BJ's from two women at the same time inside a closet of the guests home, while the husband was tending to the kids in the pool in their back yard.

It takes 30 seconds to get it on.

Now, all that graphic stuff aside, the part of your post the bothers me is your cognitive dissodence on what happened. For me, an emotional affair is a deal breaker, let alone texts, emails, etc. Hard next and I have two kids.

So listen, you need to just assume the worst. You need to get an STD check to make sure. You need to go fuck another woman if you need to "get even" in your mind.

You have said you are going to accept it. Then accept it. That is 100% your choice, but once you do STFU about it.

You have been played a fool. You have been cucked. There is no sugar coating this.

So you draw a line in the sand now. That is fine.

Dont fucking get cucked again.

Take your anger out at the gym. Look at your weak ass when you lift.

Maybe then, your wife will let you flog her a few times, once she sees the agression in your eyes is gone.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-01-05T22:13:42+00:00

Behold : the Male Hamster in action!

Your choice if you plan on staying, but if it were me I'd be gone.

Edit: You'll never know the full truth - are you going to be ok with that in the long run, or will it eat you up?

Title	Help with a choice
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	January 5, 2018 8:56 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7oe8o6/help_with_a_choice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/help-with-a-choice.204989 https://theredarchive.com/post/204989

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