I’ve been swallowing the RP for nearly a year. Drastic changes have been made and many more to come. I have read a great deal of the sidebar and have been lifting regularly. I’m getting better at a lot things, such as frame and walking my own path. I recently posted in MRP about my path and frame. My confidence has gradually increased and I have more confidence than ever. My marriage relatively outstanding. I realize I will always get shit tests from and I’ll always get better and passing them.

I’ve realized a couple things recently:

*The way I look at the sidebar has changed. When I started reading the sidebar I often found myself anxious and overwhelmed with the number of books and readings there is. I felt as if it were a chore I had to do in order to somehow be able to qualify myself to you guys. Now, I read the sidebar because I’m excited to learn how to improve as a man. I look forward to it. The more readings I come across, the more peace I feel about growing.

*I have a pattern of applying things I read about then experience what feels like opening Pandora’s Box and getting lost in my personal growth. These times can seem like I have lost direction and confidence because of how I question nearly everything about me. I get frustrated because I begin to struggle to grasp and internalize things here. I force myself to be more creative because part of me says ‘If I was smarter I’d get it’ (I’m pretty intelligent, but no genius). Am I taking on too much at a time? I try not to go Rambo.

I'm taking action. I'm lifting. Reading. Writing down my HDV and LDV to work on.

Question; Is It normal, at least in the beginning, to go through lulls?

I seemed to have lost my mojo. It isn't the first time I've lost mojo; I always get It back and rebuild confidence. I think I'm on the upswing from this lull and I'm sure when I'm back on top I'll learn some lessons from this.