I (29M) have been in a 4 year old relationship with my GF (27F). Mostly in long distance.

The first 3 years were good. She raised some complains here and there about me being stingy and specially not spending enough on my clothing. But more or less, our relationship was all good.

I come from a modest family, so I believe in saving for bad times, and her coming from relatively better financial backgrounds, she was more carefree about money.

Since the few months, we have been having a lot of fights. Mostly because we started having conversations about marriage.

  1. She is a non vegetarian and me and my family are vegetarians. Since my mother is very pious, she considers eating non veg a sin and for her, it would be wrong to even use a kitchen where non veg is being cooked. So, I requested my GF to find a middle ground about using different utensils and fridge when my parents visit (max 10 days per year maybe), but she doesn't agree and says its a dealbreaker.

  2. She recently (2 weeks back) said that she isn't physically attracted to me anymore because I do not dress up well enough.

Now, I consider myself a relatively reasonable person, and am ready to work on the first two points. But the next few points have been bothering me.

  1. She got close to her work friend (since last 6 months) and started talking to him for hours everyday over phones and playing GTA and other online games. At one occasion when they met in person (they also live in different cities), he even gave her flowers and sometimes acts clingy with her. We must have fought about it 5-10 times, and I asked her to lay down some boundary. But noticed almost no change and she kept on blaming me for being insecure. Cut to last week and he basically professed his love for her. She called me yesterday to tell me about it and basically regretted telling me as much as possible saying I will use it against her and she will look bad in my eyes. She has cut him off since and only sometimes talks to him now.

  2. Since last 2 weeks she has been saying that she is not sure about our relationship, given our future uncertainties (about parents and about these things that I do - never gift her flowers or anything expensive, not spending enough on our clothes and trip etc.) and said that she is not sure what to do about it.

  3. Just today, she told me that she is going out to play mini golf with this new work-friend who apparently according to her is quite rich. I flipped and said that I consider it a romantic date and she can do what she wants to. To which she said that I am being immature and insecure again and our call ended. She later talked to a friend who said that it indeed is romantic. So, now she is blaming me for being aggressive with her about saying it like that to her and that she said that in my eyes she is basically a slut! And she said that she just didn't know about mini golf being romantic and that it was not her mistake. I clarified that I clearly did not mean that obviously but to me, 1-1 meetings with her colleagues whom she just met means a date. She went ape shit and said that she will just unfollow him and whatnot and she just can't talk to me anymore about it. She also said that I consider him a slut and that I am maybe only with her coz I cannot get anyone better.

BTW, since the last 5 years I have known her, she has had 3 such friends who have fallen for her and she just claims that she was naive to not see it coming. Now I trust her since she never cheated on me, but I find this deeply troubling.

So please, help me with some guidance. What should I do. I think I still love her but I am anxious about her leaving me. I know all this is beta AF, but I want some solid advice, even some slaps to see the truth.