Quick FR. I don't know how this will turn out but I am doing my thing. I'm OI and happy and Hope she comes along for the ride, if not I'm gonna have fun anyways.

She decided she is not gonna do anymore group gatherings with my family. She gets social anxiety and my family gatherings are larger. So I understand to a degree why they are hard for Her. She has also said that she doesn't feel welcomed and I choose my family over her. I told her I don't and the fact is that as a family we spend allot of time together. She said Her decision was not meant to affect me and did not expect me to stay home.

My reaction was just to say OK. I told her that I would take our daughter cause it was healthy for them to see each other regularly and we would stay for a while and then come Home and spend some of the time with her also. It is a holiday after all and I do want spend some with her also(genuinely). I figure this is Her trying to control me in a passive aggressive way by saying she gives me permission to do this thing(mostly cause I think she suspects I would do it my way anyways).

Hmmm maybe I don't have a question so much as to say I think I have turned another corner. She is not enhancing my life by pulling this stunt so I am gonna leave her at home as she suggested. She is trying to communicate covertly so I am just choosing to take her words at face value and take her power play off the table and not buy into the mind games she is playing.

Don't try to read into what your woman is saying. Take her words at face value and eventually she will stop trying to manipulate you as much. Her mind thinks that tricking you into spending time with her is on level playing field with genuine grown up communication. It's not and the more you try to decipher her intentions the more you get stuck in the tar baby.

Disregard your woman's covert communication and take it at face value which will force her to communicate like a grown up and be direct. Don't buy into the mind games and when she finally does start communicating like a big person?..... keep doing things that make you happy. She will be less manipulative or anxious as you raise your standards, and she doesn't stop then it doesn't changes your decisions except influencing if she will continue to be in your life. Modeling good behaviour as the captain is something your wife will pickup on......maybe, not every woman survives this process.

I wrote this before I knew how it turned out simply because I'm fine with however it turns out and I own my decision. Now she has to own her actions/emotions and every one of us needs to have that standard for our women.

Edit: last night she came to me, cuddled Up next to me and said its not like she is trying to have this anxiety over it. I told her that I understand its Hard for her and that if previous counseling hasn't worked she needs to see someone else to get this sorted out. I told her I wanted her there with me and I will be dissappointed if she does not go.

She she will try to work it out. Blah blah blah. See I talked to much and she is promising bullshit. This is why I just said OK the First time.

I have said all this stuff to her before so I did not feel the need to broken record Her again. The difference between this and last is purely I am disregarding Her feelings about it and doing what makes me happy. As I said, I hope she comes along for the ride. This isn't the first time this has happened so I decided I will just do everything opposite to what I have before, like go without her, and just say OK and move on.

My only mess up is that i feel like I should not have said anything but "if you don't go I will be disappointed" last night.