Last month I posted about struggling to read WISNIFG. I got the audiobook and it made a big difference for me to both listen and read it to begin to internalize. I had been reading sidebar for months, but doing both has helped tremendously. WISNIFG is an epiphany for me. If your struggling to internalize, try both the audio and reading. Don't skip reading, just do both.

The more I learn the more I realize that she says things to me EXPECTING my response and I fall into it all the time. These concepts take time. Watching what she does and not what she says is one that is starting to sink for me. I am grateful that there is all of this information.

I had good dread built up. Her questions about cheating came with better sex. Then I ruined it one weekend when she was really at it with "I KNOW you are cheating. I feel it, ect. I don't want to go anywhere with you." I guess this was a comfort test that I failed that badly by DEERING and going into speeches. Destroyed all of the cheating questions and also the momentum that I had going for me. I didn't recognize the manipulation of trying to get me to explain why I wouldn't cheat like a good boy. Now it's been hard to get that back. I feel setback, but in far better position than I was before. Patience does not come easy. I learned that being OVERT about the possibility of cheating actually turns her on. Not by what she says, but what she does. This is stuff I would have been afraid to do before.

I am working on enforcing boundaries now. I have one thing in my min that I am preparing to talk to her about. When I tell her that she has continued doing something that I asked her not to do, she will bring up a bunch of things that I don't do that she asked me to do, even if it happened last year. Is this a good time to broken record her objections?

This takes work. Another one of my shortcomings is that I shortcut everything. Taking shortcuts does not get me what I want. It gets me an easy fix and alot of frustration.

Patience & Vigilance