Hi all,

I've been a student of TRP for a while now, and I find a lot of the lessons taught here both interesting and practical. I'm writing today because I am in a problematic situation and seek the unique collective wisdom I think this sub is capable of offering. Please forgive the length of this post, but I think the details are critical to the story and I want to give you all full context.

So, I met the girl. Hah. I met her in San Diego. I don't live there, but I was there for a month and a a half house sitting for a friend. Matched on tinder and go out for a beer. We hit it off and I take her home that night and I smash. 1st red flag: she tried to fuck me that first night without a condom but I insisted we use one. Don't pat me on the back yet though.

So, over the next month we hang out every weekend (her days off). The pussy is off the charts good. Head is great too. I stop using a condom after the second weekend and resort to the pull out method. Things get really intimate really fast. She says she loves me. I feel obliged to return the phrase, and in doing so, let my emotional guard down and start thinking maybe I do.

Now, I had another girl I was flying out from Vegas to visit me. These plans were set in motion before I met San Diego girl. I feel bad about about it, because the way we're behaving is like we're in a LTR, so I tell SD girl about Vegas girl, wanting to at least be transparent. She does not like the news. Takes it really bad and sort of alludes to the fact that we're done. I take this news rather hard. We're at a restaurant when I break the news. Tensions run high and we leave soon after. Still, she invites me inside her apartment and proceeds to get wasted on wine and kolonopin. Ends up a sloppy drunken mess. Really unattractive. I still stay the night and she's pleasant the next morning.

Vegas girl shows up and we have a great weekend of eating, drinking, and fucking. Don't hear from SD girl at all. After three days, Vegas girl goes home and I text SD girl. We both say we miss each other and we'll hang out that weekend. We do, and we proceed to act like boyfriend/girlfriend.

At this point I'd like to explain a little of this girl's backstory. She is an immigrant with Bolivian citizenship. Her mom is Bolivian and her dad is Sudanese. From what she says, her dad is a well regarded architect working in Saudi Arabia. This girl moved to the USA when she was eighteen. She worked different jobs and married a black dude from Maryland (who she is still married to btw), she says for the purpose of getting her American citizenship. She tells me her ex was abusive emotionally and physically. Says he was allowed to fuck other girls but she wasn't, and that he was an insanely jealous partner. He was also a thug who sold drugs and got tazed while climbing a fence attempting to flee from police after trying to cash a fraudulent check at a Wells Fargo. He was a Wells Fargo employee at another branch at the time. I think you get the idea.

This girl also talks a lot of shit about her sisters. She showed me pics of them on FB and they look like these really vapid, but incredibly sexy middle eastern chicks. Lots of makeup, expensive dresses. The older one also married for citizenship then dumped the guy after she got it. Her sister is just as hot if not hotter than my girl. The guy, a former marine, took it so bad he wound up homeless. She really did a number on him. Her other, younger sister lives in Paris. She got caught cheating on her bf red-handed when the guy she was cheating with told her bf she went to Amsterdam on a trip to fuck him. I hear all these red flags, but don't adequately protect myself like I should. My emotional guard stays down, I continue to fuck this girl without a condom, and I tell her I love her, a phrase I don't take lightly and hadn't used with a girl in years.

I go to Mexico for a week on a camping surf trip. It's a great trip but I'm just out there in the wilderness on my own and I miss SD girl like crazy. I tell her so when I return. She says she missed me too, but has to tell me something. Tells me she invited a 'guest' to stay with her for a few days--some dude she met a while back who also lives in another state. Says she doesn't really want him to come, but said yes to him asking her if he could stay with her because she was drunk at the time and wanted to get back at me for having my own 'guest'. She tells me she doesn't even really want him to come and that she told him she's seeing me.

I drive back to my home state, not even bothering to stop and see my Vegas girl on the way because I've got oneitis for SD girl. I invite her to Christmas with the family and she reluctantly agrees. I say great, lets get you a ticket now before the prices go up. She says she can't swing the cash. I say no problem I got you. Buy her the ticket. That was three days ago. Yesterday I texted saying I missed her voice and she should call me when she wakes up (she works the night shift). I get on snapchat and see she made a post an hour earlier so I know she's up. I call her twice and no answer. She texts me three hours later to say she's hanging out with her gay best friend and she'll call me later. I respond saying she could've just answered my call and told me that. She texts back that I'm acting 'feisty'. She does not call that night and by this time I'm finally starting to see the writing on the wall. I get the feeling she won't be joining us for Christmas and I text her asking her to re-reimburse me for her non-refundable air travel. Have yet to receive a response.

All in all, if I get out of this with just the hit on the plane ticket I'll be glad. I'm worried because I was fucking her without a condom and I wouldn't be surprised if she told me she were pregnant. She already did this once: sent me a text saying she thought she was pregnant, then not answering my call when I phoned her. Then she got her period so she was basically just behaving irrationally. Another red flag I ignored.

So there's my story. I'm just beginning to realize how big I fucked up here. I see now I should've never stopped spinning plates and got oneitis for this girl. Now I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and my intuition is screaming at me that something is seriously wrong. She's either cheating on me or ignoring me because I let her in and let her know how much I liked her. I don't know exactly, but I know something is seriously wrong. My plan of action right now is to not call or text her until she responds. If by some miracle she does make it out for Christmas that's fine and I'll just use a condom to protect myself from any future risk.

Any reflections or thoughts on my situation would be much appreciated. What do you think I should do now? Ghost her? Tell her to not bother coming to Christmas?