Hello all, before I begin I just want to make a few things clear. I'm not perfect, I'm not the ultimate red piller, this story entails many mistakes I've made and wrong choices, obviously there will be plenty of things I did wrong but it's only because I've just started to adapt to this new ideology and continue to grow everyday from it. With that in mind, a bit of backstory before I talk about what's up with all of you. I'm an 18 year old who graduated high school not too long ago, I've been best friends with a "lesbian" who we'll call Katrina for a good 7 years now. She's had sex with a few guys before I knew her and when she started identifying as a lesbo. (More on that later) Katrina and I have gotten to know one another so well to the point where she's almost family not just with me but with our families too.

Obviously I've had feelings for her ever since I first met her, back then I would always shove them away though dude to both her being a lesbian and me not messing up the one friendship I had at the time. Thankfully as time passed I grew out of that awkward stage, and eliminated the neediness I've had for her, and grown to open up my social circle to more guys who I can relate more without any sexual tension or anything like that. I've also gotten myself a few girlfriends in the meantime... Now this is where things start to get a bit crazy. As I grew up, the talks of me having feelings with her came up again. She asked me one night if I still had feelings for her, in which I was honest and told her I did but that I wouldnt let it get in the way of anything. In addition to that, With each girlfriend I've head, Katrina was either highly skeptical or downright abhorred them.

It all came down to when I started dating a girl named Emmy. My relationship with Emmy is probably the longest and most committed one I've had so far (to this day were still together). Katrina exhibited her same emotions, and one night she went off the wall with her current gf calling her names and joking to me about "if I was surprised how loose she was when we first had sex" or "don't act stupid like your girlfriend." Blatant disrespectful shit right there, so I straight up told her that and she apologized profusely. "I'm sorry I know what I did was wrong, I was horrible that night" Seems the more I drift off and the more time I spend with other people (more specificity other women) she acts up like this. Sometimes dropping subtle hints that she's upset that I'm hanging out with Emmy instead of her and even in some cases trying to make me jealous by saying "Oh insert name here is my new best friend now".

Why does she act like this? What do you think is going on in her head?