~ archived since 2018 ~

Advice on what to do with 'LTR'

vapel1fe42069 · 2016-09-05T06:10:11+00:00

So I'm getting pretty serious with this girl. Definitely want to get into an LTR with her, but we haven't committed yet and haven't had the...

vapel1fe42069

September 5, 2016

1 upvotes

/r/askTRP

Archived from /r/askTRP

r/askTRP is a subreddit for Red Pill Discussion for personalized questions about specific situations, people, scenarios.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill subreddits and blogs. This page is our copy of the original post.

/r/askTRP archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Support the archive

Everything here was supposed to disappear. Banned subreddits, deleted communities, cancelled blogs — much of what is archived here survives nowhere else.

It stays free — no paywall, no account — for the next man who comes looking, the way it was free for you.

I pay for the servers, the storage and the bandwidth myself. If you want this record still standing in ten years, become one of the people who keeps it online.

Support the archive

Post Information

Title	Advice on what to do with 'LTR'
Author	vapel1fe42069
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	September 5, 2016 6:10 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5183xm/advice_on_what_to_do_with_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/advice-on-what-to-do-with-ltr.110832 https://theredarchive.com/post/110832

Comments

[–]PragmaticRedTruth 5 points5 points5 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]vapel1fe420692 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]quicklogaccount1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]vapel1fe420690 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]quicklogaccount1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yep. There's something we repeat all around.
Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment.
If you go around offering commitment, your commitment becomes cheap, and she should not have to put a lot of work towards a cheap commodity.
You also can think of it as having her taking some chances to get something she wants, so she doesn't become an entitled bitch.

Lack of commitment, or labels, are a lack of comfort in the relationship. Lack of comfort causes a few things, prior or during the relationship.

She openly talks about it. You address it properly and lay boundaries. "I want to be your girlfriend" / "So, what should it mean for us?" During the relationship she'll say she feels like you don't care. Hear it, keep the balance, 2/3 rule.
She's lacks enough confidence to openly talk about, and chooses to break up to prevent herself from getting hurt. Basically when she dumps you you push her to open up about the reason. She'll spit it out as soon as she notices you're interested in hearing. Then you can push her for asking. You can be teasing. It'll make a funny bonding talk for years to come.
During the relationship this girls will put distance between you and themselves so they don't get hurt. Damaged goods behavior. It sux. You can't possibly have a decent relationship with them unless they change this shitty aspect of themselves. Hence, take her actions as a fair warning. Yellow flag at least. They're rather dump you than take chances. Address it really early on. The good thing is, it has a mainstream bluepill name, noncommittal, and mainstream also thinks it sux. So you can call her upon it.
My take on this is, don't waste a lot of effort. If you want to try, good for you, but the effort you spend to break this shitty aspect won't render any other fruits. If you spend all the willingness to put effort in the relationship to get past it, it'll be a bad break up. For her.
She might lay a guy that gives her comfort, flirt around for validation, whatever. So, this girl isn't relationship material. Just get rid of her.

[–]vapel1fe420690 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]quicklogaccount1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Screening:
Basically you screen for flags.

Cheater flags are widely known, shady behavior, friends with exs, overly secretive about her phone, attention whoring.

Other stuff to look for are daddy issues. Take a look at men in love versus women in love at the sidebar, you'll be taking a few of her father's roles. If daddy is overly present, you'll have problems.

Noncommittal behavior is something I take seriously, personal experience. It enables her not to move an inch for you, and relationships are about one molding to each other, whether you like it or not.

I'm preaching avoidance to anti social girls. They have the perk of being less likely to cheat (because they expose themselves far less) but AWALT either way, and while every couple tends to make an island, these girls actually try to lead you both into that, and you might not notice it.

Last thing to check is whether she acts whimsy, entitled, nagging or bitchy towards others. You don't want to have to put up with cheat tests forever.

As for the talk:

To disable it there's a link on the askTRP sidebar. To actually have the talk, you lay boundaries and your expectations. Some common ones are:
- Join each other on social gatherings;
- SEX;
- Emotional support (it's nice to say it but while you should be able to get it from her, you shouldn't demand it unless REALLY necessary, needing it lowers your value A LOT);
- Behavior towards ex partners...

[–]vapel1fe420690 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link