I'm realizing that part of the reason I've been unhappy with my sexual, social, and romantic life compared to others is because of this: I was very introverted, serious, and mature growing up. I never participated in much of the popular "fun" for my age group. When I got around 20 I started breaking out of my shell a lot more (I'm 24 now). But then I changed my major twice in college and took 2 semesters off to work, so I ended up spending 6 years to get my bachelor's degree. The last 2 years of college were my best, but in terms of the standard age progression, I basically joined the 21-22 age group when I was 24 because all my new friends were 2-3 years younger.

Outside of that, at all the places I've worked so far, they've been dominated also by people a few years younger than me. I work with several people in the 18-20 range including girls. I guess the difference between 24 and 20 is larger than I expected. I'm an attractive and confident guy and girls show interest all the time. But ultimately I'm very mature and serious whereas girls a few years younger than me still act so childish and ridiculous, so there's always a big gap in personality and life experience.

My ex left me (I am 3.5 years older than her) to date several other guys her same age and even younger who were more similar to her in terms of temperament and interests. I know one or two of them and they literally still act like children and are only OK because they still are entirely supported by their mommy and daddy. They haven't become real men yet.

I thought girls wanted real, strong men. The scientific data says that women most prefer guys 4-5 years older than them. But these things are not very true in my life so far. Girls date childish guys all the time, including those who are on a path to continue acting like children until they're 40. Girls around me wanna play games on their phone, just scroll, eat, and do as little as possible. I honestly don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to have to baby a girl in a relationship.

I don't get it. I'm about to be 25 but I'm already very serious, focused, mature, and ready to start building a life and dispense with immature, childish, waste-of-time behaviors. I'm currently in an environment that is dominated by younger and more childish people (and even people who are older than me but still more childish), and I'm feeling disconnected. I plan to join the military with my degree next year, but until then, is there anything I can do about this apparent disconnect I've been experiencing, specifically with girls?