Am I handling a flake correctly

T-C96 · 2021-06-21T19:28:34+00:00

Yes and no.

No because you gave her the option. If she’s not 100% in, she’s out. So unless she’s actually sick or has something legit come up AND has a new day/time in mind to reschedule then let it go. So don’t wait around for her to “let you know”. Tell her another time and don’t contact until she’s reaches out with a new date.

You did alright by asking to buy the ticket back and telling her you were doing this either way

PS - don’t take a girl to the movies early on. Are you going to get to know each other better in 3 hours of pitch black silence? Skip the movie and stick to the fun shit

CoyoteMiyamoto · 2021-06-21T20:01:25+00:00

You've made a tactical mistake. When she said she was sick she wanted to see if you're a creep who wants some quick action. You've presented her two options and even phrased them as questions: do you wanna go or stay home?

That's too indecisive.

Then she even gave you a second chance to man up.

I'll let you know later

At that point you were already acting a little bit pushy about it.

let me know soon combined with If not, and been wanting to see this movie for a while

I know it sounds decisive and straightforward at first glance. But you're trying too hard to sound like you just want to go and have fun, whether she's coming or not. If that really were the case, you wouldn't have waited for her response, you would have just gone out by yourself. By giving her an ultimatum you're putting way too much pressure on her for a first(?) date. Nobody wants that.

Next time something like this happens you just say "okay, get well soon." and go have some fun alone.

redhawkes · 2021-06-21T19:21:28+00:00

You're on the backburner, don't settle for plan B. Ask someone else and soft next until she initiates.

319Skew · 2021-06-21T23:15:31+00:00

Next time:

Her :“um im feeling a tad sick so idk if you still wanna go or go another day”.

You: "Get some chicken soup in you and Hmu when you're feeling better."

Msg plate 2: " How fast can you get ready? I'm heading to X."

Then enjoy the night.

tradsouthernmale · 2021-06-21T23:54:37+00:00

Should have let her eat her ticket. Stop simping.

pelado_hot · 2021-06-28T23:16:10+00:00

I had this situation before. English is not my main language, but the best answer for me would be:

Her: “um im feeling a tad sick so idk if you still wanna go or go another day”.

OP: "It's ok. Get some rest"

The I would proceed to go to the movie with another girl or a friend (if you already have the tickets) or by myself.

If she's really interest, she'll contact you. If not, who cares.

Oh, and don't think too mutch about it dude. This is very common.

moonbux · 2021-07-05T14:28:57+00:00

Honestly didn’t even care about the lay, just wanted to have fun tonight

So lack of sexual tension maybe?

Title	Am I handling a flake correctly
Author	awihsoj
Upvotes	1
Comments	13
Date	June 21, 2021 7:16 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/o530f1/am_i_handling_a_flake_correctly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/am-i-handling-a-flake-correctly.785876 https://theredarchive.com/post/785876

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