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Am I interpreting this right

iceman3553 · 2016-08-21T17:20:57+00:00

After leaving my latest ex (she's too clingy and emotional for my taste), she wrote me a very long ass love letter about me and us and our sex (I blocked...

iceman3553

August 21, 2016

0 upvotes

/r/askTRP

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Post Information

Title	Am I interpreting this right
Author	iceman3553
Upvotes	0
Comments	17
Date	August 21, 2016 5:20 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4yvxnt/am_i_interpreting_this_right/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/am-i-interpreting-this-right.110083 https://theredarchive.com/post/110083

Comments

[–]Apexk94 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]Iceman3514 1 points1 points1 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Apexk91 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Iceman3514 1 points1 points1 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]i_have_a_semicolon0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Iceman3514 1 points1 points1 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]i_have_a_semicolon0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm probably gonna go with she's not found the right person yet for her, and neither of you are right/wrong.

For long term relationships, you need to exhibit both alpha and beta traits. For plate spinning, you just need to be alpha. You ultimately decide which one you want, so, you can only answer if you did the "right" thing or not.

BTW, giving into "comfort" tests is not how men "game" women. When she says, I like when guys say what I want to hear, she means she is looking for comfort / validation. Of course she's going to show you that you did "wrong" by her for not giving her the validation. From her perspective, that's a valid feeling, assuming she was seeking long term relationship, she feels a man should be both alpha and beta for best possible outcome. No mentally stable woman would choose AF/BB if she could choose. She'd rather have an alpha who could also be a provider, or a "high beta", a beta who has alpha qualities.

But that shouldn't matter in the context of what you should do. That would only matter if you cared about what she wanted in this situation, which would be commitment of the long-term nature I'm assuming? You however, say you're not into the "emotional" and "clinginess" of her nature, so it doesn't see like what she wants really matters or should reflect how you treat her, because it doesn't sound like you two would be compatible anyway.

[–]Iceman3514 1 points1 points1 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]i_have_a_semicolon0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Iceman3514 1 points1 points1 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheRedStoic0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PiperTheGreat0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Iceman3514 1 points1 points1 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It racks my mind because i am very different from the guys she went for in the past.

I wasn't a loser or anything like that in HS. I was a 4 year letterman, smart, driven, wasnt afraid to debate teachers in class, etc. My issue was I was a bit too risk averse (afraid to make a mistake, afraid of pregnancy,etc.), so it stunted my growth when it came to girls. I still dated my cheerleader in HS and was approached a few times and all that and didn't pedestalize. I just didn't have sex or have the attention the popular boy she dated in high school. I didn't do drugs or take risks and throw house parties or any of that shit. I wanted to focus on my sport and my education for my career (which I now have).

So while I am the most attractive, most physically built, and most accomplished man she has been with, I am much different from all of them.Even though she ogles my high school pics, I guess I feel like she would not have paid attention to me back then if we had met (because she would not have seen just how I tick. I was just as outspoken and self interested back then as I am now, I just was not so aggressive (unless I was playing sports) about it as I am now. Instead of getting in people's faces, I'd just ignore the naysayers or whatever because it was all irrelevant noise to me. To everyone else though, it can come across as being passive).

I guess I have a bit of an impostor syndrome. TRP filled in the few cracks I had in my view of the world. Basically, I didn't understand shit tests (from both men and women). I could see it, but I never could put my finger on why they were doing it. Once I understood that nuance, I became a complete man. It all made sense.

So for her to make that observation makes me wonder if I am doing it right or not because those guys were considered "players" (not a PUA player, they just got a few girls). Granted, the girls they pulled were nothing to write home about and neither were they - you know...the rich skinny kids with pretty faces and weren't going anywhere past community college, but played it up like they were so confident and capable.

[–]RPSnuggles0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

So while I am the most attractive, most physically built, and most accomplished man she has been with, I am much different from all of them.Even though she ogles my high school pics, I guess I feel like she would not have paid attention to me back then if we had met (because she would not have seen just how I tick. I was just as outspoken and self interested back then as I am now, I just was not so aggressive (unless I was playing sports) about it as I am now. Instead of getting in people's faces, I'd just ignore the naysayers or whatever because it was all irrelevant noise to me. To everyone else though, it can come across as being passive).

Man, you do have impostor syndrome. You don't respect yourself. You give too much information to the women you date. You are ideally supposed to remain aloof about your past as it gives grounds for a woman to judge you for how you were not who you are in this very moment. When you talk about your past, you either look like a braggy cunt or an insecure man. Unless she is a full-on LTR, she does not deserve your past. Remember, men control commitment.

Who cares about the players? Who cares what PUA people do? Like... you are thinking too hard about this shit instead of JUST BEING. Fuck it, just be, or do it are the 3 ways of thinking to not give a fuck. You worry too much what others do or did. Just be the best version of yourself and forget what others do.

You get these stupid thoughts about what others should be doing, just be. You regret a breakup which you made happen. Fuck it. You worry you are not making the right strides? Right down your ideal self for 20 minutes. Just do it.

People try to complicate life and second guess themselves. Want to know the most powerful qualilty of a man? Decisiveness.

[–]iceman3553[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RPSnuggles0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]iceman3553[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link