Hello, I'm FinalEquin0x, a 17 year-old christian male and I subscribed to r/trp back in Spring of 2012. Back then I was starting my Sophomore year of High School and I was quite unaware of how to conduct my self. Luckily I found trp very early and found out a lot of stuff.

I personally don't believe in pre-marrital sex so I never used my trp knowledge to try and have sex with any women. That being said I have gone on a lot of dates.

About 3 months ago I got my first girlfriend, and we hit it off really well. She had only had two previous relationships that had lasted less then a month each and the first guy broke up with her because they were better as friends, and she broke up with the second guy because he was moving faster then she wanted to.

She is a young christian girl as well, she just turned 18 two days ago. She is probably about an 8.25 (but a 10 to me), she's caring and has a quite wonderful personality. She is a bit emotionally unstable and gets scared very easily. She isn't a unicorn, but I thought (still think) that she can be molded into a unicorn.

Roughly three and a half months ago I asked her out, she said yes, we went on a couple of dates. Boyfriend-Girlfriend, first kiss, the whole nine yards. We go out roughly once every two weeks, I am more chivalrous as a boyfriend then most on here would recommend, but she's a good-girl comparatively to what most guys on here pursue girl-wise so it works. Monday night was a bit quieter in her basement then usual (we talk about our faith regularly, but not that night), but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary.

Fast forward to yesterday. All day she is kind of quiet, avoiding me somewhat in school (it didn't seem like it at the time, but now that I think about it). I just kind of let her have some space, we had spent the two previous nights together and I had some work to do after school anyways. Tuesday night rolls around she texts me saying are you home? I realize intermediately what is happening and say yes, she calls me and asks me if I can drive to her place or she can drive to mine (we live only a couple of blocks away from each other). I drive down to her place, she is already outside. She comes to me as I jump out of the truck saying its cold can we go back into the truck so we get into my truck. She is crying (or at least was, tear stains all over eyes) and I just ask her straight up, are you breaking up with me and she says yes. I ask why, and she responds with an "I don't know, it's great when we are together, but whenever I'm alone, I just have these doubts. I don't want to be only halfway in this relationship, it's not right to you." I am kind of stunned, tell her I love her for the first time, she cries. I keep trying to find out why she wants to breakup, she says its neither of us, its just us together. I tell her I need to go, she jumps out, I drive home.

Thirty minutes later I'm sitting in my home, kind of devastated (this girl is potential future wife material for sure). I decide I'm going back to her place. Manchester Orchestra's My friend Marcus is blasting in my ears and it's kind of ruining the song for me at this point. I park at her place, knock on her door, her mom answers. Her mom lets me in after I tell her I'm here to see her daughter. I go upstairs I can hear her sobbing on the phone through her door, I knock. She unlocks the door opens it, immediately tells the person on the other line she'll call them back later.

I walk in and say hey, she says hi. I actually carried myself with a surprisingly high amount of charisma, make her laugh several times. I give her reasons why she's great, I reconfirm to myself that I love her. She tells me that I'm not the problem, she's just having doubts and she's going with her gut on this one. I tell her I think she's afraid, she doesn't deny. In a closing statement I tell her she's making a mistake, and if she wants a second chance, she knows where to find me. I go home, My Friend Marcus is ruined for me, and sort of the whole album in general. I call her five times that night (all around 9:15), she doesn't pickup any of the times. At first, I couldn't believe she was blatantly ignoring me. Later after I went to sleep she texted me around 10:30 "I didn't have my phone earlier, thats why I didn't answer your calls. Sorry!" and then a follow-up of "Just wanted to let you know I wasn't ignoring you"

I am asleep, and wake up later at 12:00 AM (crazy dreams with her in them, couldn't eat dinner that night, and to top it all off, every hour and a half, I'm waking up with diarrhea). Text her back and tell her I'm coming to school late not to avoid her, but to avoid an AP Chemistry Quiz (truth).

I wakeup at 8 AM eventually to get ready to go into school late, and I eat half of my bowl of cereal (I couldn't eat it, I didn't want to, and it just tasted awful for some reason -- I'm assuming related to her). I go into third period, and usually I see her in the hallways between 3 and 4 periods, and usually we talk, but I just kind of go straight to my locker to avoid her just in case she wants to talk. I'm in period 4, we have lunch together, we still sit next to each other, but I talk to my side (the right) of the table the entire time and she talks to the left side the entire time.

We leave lunch and me and her always hang out in the hallways afterwards, but today she goes to the bathrooms, I go to the water fountains. I decide to leave early during fifth block (I've had crazy bad diarrhea all day, I feel super nauseous, and to top it off, I can't concentrate on anything but her). My 6th period is her 5th period and I walk in there to get the work I will finish when I go home. I see out of the corner of my eye her looking purposefully away from me straight down at her paper.

Now I'm home and simply reflecting on these events. I'm kind of devastated, but honestly I do find her very attractive, she has similar values, and we are going to the same college (University of Tennessee - Knoxville). She isn't high maintenance at all barring the occasional emotional breakdowns.

Also, here are some things I know it isn't.

  • Seeing someone else, or even attracted to someone else.
  • She doesn't like me (I'm nearly positive she's still attracted to me)

I think she's afraid of the future. What do you guys think?/What should I do?