Another Depression/Isolation post

MiOptime · 2018-07-04T22:04:19+00:00

Been there man. Depression sucks. Here's my advice, based on what seems important to you right now from what you've chosen to include in your post.

No role model

Start reading books about things that interest you and you'll start to view certain authors as role models. Personally I like to listen to Jordan Peterson lectures and TRP as my "teaching force", sort of similar to a role model or father figure.

Friends blah blah snapchat

I understand that you live far away so you'll want to keep in contact, but I'd limit it to text and maybe messenger. The entire purpose of social media like snapchat and instagram is to post the highs of your life to show off, cultivate a fake image to be viewed as better than you really are and this generally gives people anxiety and puts them down if you do it right or they'll just laugh at your shit page. Or they'll buy your products, but that isn't the case with you.

Delete snapchat. If anything, it makes catch-ups in real life more rewarding when you can actually talk about adventures you've both had.

No friends nearby

If you've got women coming to you but you can't fuck because insert inane excuse here, then befriend a few of them that aren't complete morons if you can control your dick. If not, fuck them at theirs/in a car/whatever.

I will also be dropping out of college because I cannot afford to go further into debt for a stupid liberal arts degree.

Passion is important but you've also got to be useful. Dropping out is probably a good choice if you're not near the end of your educational career, and then you can focus on more productive pursuits.

Debt

Sell anything you don't use, go minimalist with your clothing and shit and cancel subscriptions to any crap that doesn't serve you. Might seem extreme but it's the fastest way. Alternatively just sell stuff you can buy back later when you have money. Structure your money like this:

Spending money = Income - expenses (living expenses and gym should be most of it) = x% spending money. Set to 100% if you want debt for life, 0% if you want to get rid of it as quickly as possible. I'd just give yourself a modest budget each week and count the rest as dead money going straight to your debt, and if you save any for that week just add it to paying off your debt quicker instead of rolling it over.

Drink beer

Stop.

Don't want to seem weak confiding in someone.

This isn't strictly true. People generally start of dependent, then become independent, then interdependent. As you mature you'll realise getting help or having others assist you isn't a negative, but you should be producing value and helping them too. Think about any friendship you've ever had, how business works, or how society functions. We all rely on each other, but in an adult way that doesn't mean we become lazy fucks. Give and take.

Also, see a therapist if you can get a free one with college or whatever. If you're still hung up about others' perceptions, then rest knowing that therapists don't share the information and it's not like you put it on your CV. Just stay quiet about it.

I feel isolated and have suicidal thoughts

We're all isolated, and we're all suffering on a rocky piece of shit. That's a given. You can minimise the suffering by taking action, and are doing yourself and others a disservice by skipping that and quitting.

Start a better job

Look at that. Opportunity. Do well. Smash goals. Make a good impression. Admit to faults if you fuck up.

You'll make it.

red_matrix · 2018-07-04T23:52:16+00:00

Get off social media. That shit has been proven to induce depression in people.

talexanderc · 2018-07-04T21:26:02+00:00

Fix your finances. Sell anything you can. Find a better way to commute and live closer to work. You gotta get out of debt. That should be your sole purpose in life till you do. It shouldn't take long if you focus on it.

Xoramung · 2018-07-05T00:08:14+00:00

Tell us, do you need the Credit Cards to continue going to college or not? are you able to make a google docs sheet with a basic weekly/monthly/quarterly expenses sheet to help track finance? you track your lifts, but not your money, start there, let us know how you go.

Trip-trader · 2018-07-05T00:59:44+00:00

I’ve suffered crippling depression in the past man, I know it sucks. Each time I’ve been able to hang in there and great things happened once the depressed past. Remember this is only a temporary feeling that will pass.

98% of males never build the drive to achieve what you have with your body. That is one very strong inner drive and discipline that you have developed, and it’s rare. That will serve so amazingly well during your life and once you learn to focus your strengths. Man there isn’t much you can’t do. Keep your head up bro, you’ve got a bright future ahead of you.

DaveyOneBite · 2018-07-04T23:05:35+00:00

Liberal Arts degree was a mistake but if you are close to graduating then you should finish. If you are not close then switch to Engineering/Analytics/Computer Science and get that degree.

Letting your life get upheaved over 20k is laughable to me today but I was once in your shoes. If you continue down the path you are taking then you are destined for some shit job with a 40-60k salary that makes 20k debt actually a big deal.

eaazzy_13 · 2018-07-04T22:02:28+00:00

You fucked up. You put yourself in debt getting a liberal arts degree. So now you’ve gotta own your shit like a man and fix it. Work your nuts off and make your sole focus be getting out of debt. Once you’ve done that, you can focus on building a life and vacations and all that other shit. But you’ve made your own bed with this one so you gotta fix your situation first. We all make mistakes, don’t get yourself down over it. Just deal with it so you can move on. Debt seems insurmountable, but you can do it.

balalasaurus · 2018-07-05T01:54:50+00:00

Your sources of validation and life satisfaction are all external. Take away your money (or lack of it), your attractiveness, your progress in the gym, and what of you is left? Do you even know who you are as a person?

The thing with depression is that it’s easy to get into a cycle of blaming the world for your problems or seeing yourself as incapable of dealing with your problems. Both of those stem from a lack of faith in yourself caused by a lack of understanding of yourself.

And by understanding of yourself, I mean a real and objective understanding.

You need to meditate. You need to experience something that reminds you of your mortality. You’re at a point where you feel helpless but the truth is you aren’t. I don’t say that to get you to best yourself up about it, but to remind of your agency.

Life is full of ups and downs. In the same vein “weakness” is not really something to fear. Everything is dictated by your outlook. You can choose to either dwell on stuff and let it dictate your life’s course or steer your own ship, so to speak.

Now you may then ask how to change your outlook but the truth is your outlook can’t be changed by any of us here. The most we can give you is advice. That change is internal hence my suggestion to self-analyze and reflect from a point of objectivity.

It’s a long process and one that may seem fruitless at times, but it is one every man must go through. From the sound of it, your journey is yet to start but I guarantee that the first step will leave you better off than you are now.

Your task is to start. Good luck.

takobozu · 2018-07-05T00:19:21+00:00

the American society is designed to enslave people from a relatively young age and yes, it's royally fucked up. My condolences.

whoareyou31 · 2018-07-04T23:59:25+00:00

I stopped reading at 20k in debt. Im 100k+ in debt lmao

Title	Another Depression/Isolation post
Author	morningjoe16m
Upvotes	28
Comments	22
Date	July 4, 2018 9:23 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8w55bk/another_depressionisolation_post/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/another-depressionisolation-post.101832 https://theredarchive.com/post/101832

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