Hello. I’ll keep this as short as possible.

I married French woman, who had a kid out of wedlock back in France when she was 17. Boy’s father is considerably wealthy hotel owner who was twice her age at the time. My future wife left France together with the boy to my country, where he was raised by FW’s mother to the age of 5, while his father paid alimony and constantly tied to persuade FW to give boy to him.

When we started dating FW made a prompt decision to accede his requests and send boy to France, where he lives now with his father, stepmother and stepsister. FW used to call him weekly, then monthly, soon once or twice a year (Christmas/birthday – if not forgotten). Out of sight out of mind so to speak, considering he was never nursed/raised by FW in the first place.

We’ve married and had a son and a daughter together, both of whom she adores. Yesterday she told me she would like her Other Son to come visit us sometimes this year (she proposed August). OS is now 11 y.o, completely forgot his first language and speaks only French (very little English), expresses little to no emotion towards FW (in her own words). His father is ok with the idea and is willing to pay for logistics and other costs.

Suddenly I don’t know how to act. I don’t like the idea of him here and don’t understand if it’s the right way to feel about it. I've kept the frame throughout my still young marriage and I don’t want to lose it. I ask you to help me to comprehend the situation and find the way to win it.

Thank you in advance.