Avoid external validation and still desire women, could someone explain this to me please?

SovereignWings · 2016-06-26T02:19:46+00:00

Keeping company with women and receiving validation from women are different concepts. By having a woman in your company that is already by default validation, but the trick is not caring/not letting it affect you positively or negatively. That is stoicism.

Example:

HB7 girl is attracted to me, asks me to teach her some shit with a contact staff, I get her number. I enjoy this females company later on, we fuck, cuddle, joke, smoke, etc. She leaves. My life is no different before her and after her, except my dick is a little sore and my balls are empty.

HB9 girl is giving me googly eyes. From the get go my nerves are on edge. Is she playing me? Am I about to get used? Is this a trick? She invited me to sit in her chair so she could sit on my lap. Dope! From that moment forward my dopamine/oxytocin is fucking JACKED. This girl would barely touch me with her fingertips and I'd start to get hard. Walking round with her, I feel a strange mixture of pleasure and fear. Look at me, yeah I'm cool, this hot girl is with me. Wait, does she feel comfortable being seen with me?

The difference is huge. You can fuck and hang out with women every day for the next 20 years without internalizing it as validation. The better you are at separating your sense of value from whether or not you are successful with women, ironically, the more successful you are likely to be.

Go search the main forum for the motorcycle analogy. You are the rider. A girl hangs on. If you pay too much attention to the passenger(s), you can't be focused on the road (your mission).

Good Luck, Have Fun

Archwinger · 2016-06-26T04:35:19+00:00

You're overthinking this. Women are a hobby. You watch a movie. You play a computer game. You fuck a girl. You go see a football game. It's recreation.

You don't depend on winning your video game as part of your identity. You have some fun with it, then get back to work.

beau-dhi · 2016-06-26T09:34:22+00:00

When you assume others' opinions of you, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Assume negative opinions: you grow insecure, your body language starts closing in, your voice tapers off... contraction.

Assume positive opinions: confidence grows, open arms, open mouth, life of the party... expansion.

[deleted] · 2016-06-25T23:52:48+00:00

Internal validation ensures you live life on your own terms. People opinion not just women should affect you that badly and you shouldn't be vulnerable to it.

[deleted] · 2016-06-25T23:54:59+00:00

And about women's opinions Their actions almost always contradict their words so just because they say all sorts of shit about Mr"wrong" doesn't mean he won't get ass So yes don't give a fuck and you still will get some, if not more so

Eyes_Of_The_Dragon · 2016-06-25T23:46:02+00:00

Women are real, they are people, they have feelings and opinions, so how can all of this work if we act like we don't give a fuck about them and wait for them to come after us?

You give them just enough of your time and attention to keep the plate spinning.

You give a fuck about them, but they don't give a fuck about you. You should have a discussion with some women and ask if abortion were legal only in case of rape, how many would cry rape to get one. It's really eye opening.

Title	Avoid external validation and still desire women, could someone explain this to me please?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	10
Date	June 25, 2016 11:03 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4puvzy/avoid_external_validation_and_still_desire_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/avoid-external-validation-and-still-desire-women.184994 https://theredarchive.com/post/184994

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