Be assertive and communicate what you don't tolerate, or remove attention and soft next?

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-07-22T16:30:25+00:00

You make a single statement about your standard, and then she either chooses to accept it, or she chooses to demonstrate with her behavior her lack of admiration and respect for you.

You cannot negotiate for admiration and respect, it's like desire.

WIA20XX · 2019-07-22T17:41:24+00:00

The soft next method doesn't really address subjective stuff you don't like. It's mostly for objective drama/specific actions like crying, screaming, yelling, not trying to hook up cause she's mad at you for some reason she won't tell you about.

For the soft next method to work, she has to have a reasonable idea about why you have focused your attention elsewhere instead of her. You decide how long before you reinitiate the contact based on the severity.

But with small stuff that gets on your nerves - you have to tell her what your specific expectations are, and sometimes how she can meet them.

If she fucks up the same way a second time, then it is not just an innocent mistake, she's testing your boundaries. Soft next then.

LifeTopic · 2019-07-22T16:30:41+00:00

Women speak covertly, men speak overtly. What use is overtly bringing the issue to her? Just soft next her fully, be covert. Women understand it.

X--Man · 2019-07-22T16:21:09+00:00

Both. Let her know, and then withdraw attention and soft next until she comes back. If shes a good plate.

If she sucks in general then just replace her.

Kobinks · 2019-07-22T16:18:25+00:00

Need more info, what’s she doing that you don’t like?

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-07-23T10:45:25+00:00

Just straight soft nexting can come off as passive aggressive and an inability to face problems head on.

Let her know you don't like it when she does a, you'd like to see more of b.

That's it. Non negotiable. She continues to test your frame THEN you soft next. Then it comes off as staying true to your word and putting your boundaries above her.

Title	Be assertive and communicate what you don't tolerate, or remove attention and soft next?
Author	crushplanets
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	July 22, 2019 4:15 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cgf8ua/be_assertive_and_communicate_what_you_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/be-assertive-and-communicate-what-you-dont.246261 https://theredarchive.com/post/246261

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