Being called the quiet guy at work

JimFury · 2016-04-12T07:48:25+00:00

If you're not willing to talk about stuff they're interested in you're more than likely fucked unless you are the alpha male. Since you're the quiet guy and getting out of your depression chances are you aren't the alpha there so you have to work to find common ground. I don't give two fucks about watching sports lots of guys I've worked with have but we always found other shit to talk about.

Hows your humor? At my previous job we had a fooseball table at work and we'd fuck around with that during the day. If you're funny thats a huge win and an easy way to get everyone to want to chill with you. What kind of job do you have where no one is interested in what you're interested in? Worst case scenario force yourself to like stuff they like, if you need to have the social aspect at work.

If you can work on being extroverted, charismatic, and confident they'll find ways to relate to you and that's how you know you're one of the higher ups on the social heirarchy.

lanky32 · 2016-04-12T08:31:35+00:00

Its only been a month for you here. With time you will open up more, it's a natural process. If I were you, I would not worry too much about it.

RunawayGrain · 2016-04-12T12:35:49+00:00

At this point you don't talk, you demonstrate. I don't tend to watch television; I don't give a damn about who died on Game of Thrones. I prefer to play sports and not fawn over someone elses achievements.

Punch it up a notch at work, and outclass them all in terms of work quality.

Keep some of the stuff you like with less broad appeal under your belt, at least at work. Just as an example, I have a underling who is into anime. Some of it is weird. Instead of keeping that stuff at home, he tires to foist it on others who clearly don't get it. So he's now the weird anime guy. I'm pretty much expecting his manager to come in and ask about having all the anime crap removed from his work space any time now. How does that bode for his future advancement, do you think?

On the other hand I enjoy riding dirt bikes and have a large property, so it's feasible. Something like that isn't niche, and has enough broad appeal that I can invite a few people over to do it, and all will have a good time.

So think of the things you like, or might like to try, that have a broader appeal and stick to those at work. Still do the things that make you happy, but remember that in your work place you are very much advertising for yourself, and your goal should be to present an image that says 'advancement.'

Also, look into mirroring: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirroring_%28psychology%29

It's a way of incorporating body language and patterns into speech which helps build rapport. It's a natural reaction but, with practice, people can use it consciously.

MinisterTRP · 2016-04-12T07:50:46+00:00

Talk. If you dont like it, make it a game. Try to picture your coworkers as onions with many layers. Talking about the game is the outer layer, finding out the reason they watch football is the next.

The game is simple, you try to get through as many layers as you can. Throughout this, you will find common ground, work with that.

slcjosh · 2016-04-12T08:58:19+00:00

Be honest, how many girls do you go home with in a month?

Title	Being called the quiet guy at work
Author	diamxnds
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	April 12, 2016 6:16 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4eevqg/being_called_the_quiet_guy_at_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/being-called-the-quiet-guy-at-work.163280 https://theredarchive.com/post/163280

Comments