Beta cant find courage...help

Rasalom72 · 2016-02-10T20:31:03+00:00

What is the WORST thing that can happen if you "try" and get rejected? Like the WORST thing? Would you survive it? Will it somehow destroy your life, or the lives of those you care about?

btharmony · 2016-02-10T21:05:59+00:00

If it's your first time, just ask. If it becomes awkward so what? You're still young and inexperienced. You have to start somewhere.

SovereignWings · 2016-02-10T22:29:59+00:00

First off, this is completely natural. Stop talking to yourself with language like "THIS IS THE MOST BETA THING EVAR".

The roots of confidence are self-trust. Accept that it is 100% normal for you to feel this way, because its something new and exciting that you've never done before. Your emotions are haywire because your hindbrain wants this really, really bad and your forebrain has no experience to fall back on regarding execution - you are in unknown territory.

The fact is, this feeling is A GOOD THING. A great thing. It means you are about to do something which is exactly what you're supposed to do. Once you stop putting yourself down about how " beta" it is to feel like this you can acknowledge a simple truth:

All you have to do is go for it. It's like plunging into an ice cold swimming pool or lake - it looks like its really going to suck, and you hesitate, but once you do it it's just not that bad. In fact islts exhilarating.

So relax man. This is an exciting time for you. And guess what? It doesn't matter AT ALL whether she likes it, or hates it, or rejects you, or falls totally in love with you. All that matters is you becoming a man, realizing you can do this, you always could, and that you have balls of fucking steel and can do it a thousand more times.

Good luck brother.

648262 · 2016-02-10T20:59:47+00:00

It's not the most alpha douchebag thing you can do, but if you're young and nervous you can just straight up ask her.

"Hey, can I kiss you?"

It's not a long sentence to say and you get your answer fairly quickly. Don't ask among friends - do it when it's just the two of you.

SureImShore · 2016-02-10T21:48:16+00:00

What are you afraid of? I don't mean this hypothetically. Ask yourself honestly what is the fear you have that is causing you not to act.

Rogers_johnson · 2016-02-10T22:53:21+00:00

When you stand in front of her and you have that eye contact and you know it's the moment but you're bottling it. I find it helps to slightly lift up her jaw with a finger, almost like towards you and move in. She will let you move her head up easily, if she doesn't want to kiss or happy for the touch, she will move away. This way if she's gonna pull away you know before you try. It also shows you're leading things.

snakw12 · 2016-02-11T04:42:10+00:00

Watch this video before date:

http://youtu.be/4UYYzbzGk6s

Right before you plan on kissing her, go and follow the guys 2nd advice of watching the gruesome video. Then ask yourself what the man in the gruesome video would do.

Title	Beta cant find courage...help
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	February 10, 2016 8:23 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/454rkt/beta_cant_find_couragehelp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/beta-cant-find-couragehelp.186966 https://theredarchive.com/post/186966

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