Broken Engagement

creating_my_life · 2017-05-10T17:16:01+00:00

she breaks off engagement, gives back the ring, can't offer any any commitment.

Congrats. Dodged a bullet there, AND got the ring back.

WTF are you doing by getting married, anyways?

quicklogaccount · 2017-05-10T20:17:24+00:00

Let me tell you her story.

Your girl always had the feeling that she could do better but settled for you. AWALT. You pedestalized her, she knew it, and your LTR became the safe harbor: Good, but not ideal.
As things grew more serious she felt the need to take a last check on the market. As she was stable with you, only the kind memories of the market came to her mind, the bad ones and the struggles felt distant. She broke up her engagement to see only the "good side" of the sexual competition, she needed to make sure there was no uber handsome businessman with a ring for her on the corner. There was none. Maybe no guy better looking than you even made a move for starters.
NOW she's with the "he'll brush it off" mentality. It's not really starting over, she doesn't feel she owe you shit for the disrespect and hardship she put you through.
As soon as she realizes she lost you she'll feel she fucked up. Not because she hurt you, but because she jeopardized her dreams of commitment. At this point she'll be willing to invest to "save the relationship". She'll assess the damage she done with (with female lenses, she only has those) and work on making amendments to save the relationship.

Tell me what i need to hear.

I will tell you what you'll do to make optimal healing.
For starters you'll pick up and bang another girl, it's time to end that scarcity. No problem if she's less attractive than your ex, you're a polygamous man, not a hypergamous woman. Thank god for that, it's probably the only time men have it easier.
Once you do, you'll feel a bit more confident. Maybe do it again. Maybe with three girls. (If any of them is hotter than your ex, or beats her in an aspect she's sensitive to, you can let her know, just for the fun of the torture). You'll use rage to drive you to pick up these girls, this isn't good but it's no problem here. Don't burn the bridge to your ex yet.
ONCE she reaches out looking into making amendments, discussing things and making concessions, you hit her with "continue validating myself to her while she "finds herself" (zero commitment expressed specifically)", change the pronouns. And you bang her. And make sure you have at least another fuckbuddy.

After that, your call. Answer these, stop at the first no. Do you WANT to commit? Does she deserve a chance? Do you WANT to give her a chance (deserving means you CAN give, not that you OWE her one)?

UnluckyPenguin · 2017-05-10T17:35:04+00:00

It sucks. Expect it to take about half the time you were together to get over her. You did the right thing.

Even if you're angry at her, it just means you still have feelings for her.

Best advice is keep lifting and read everything on the sidebar while looking for girls to use as rebounds. That will help the healing process. The biggest thing that will screw with your head is not getting laid on the regular with the same person, so try solving that issue as well.

Then, once you're in a good place, practice monk-mode. 3-weeks doesn't count. You need to learn to be comfortable and happy being single. Turn women down because they are beneath you (or at least the you that you want to be). Too many guys will take any girl.

Good luck!

redditdawg11 · 2017-05-10T19:00:30+00:00

Thank you for the nicely formatted post. Just know that this is the right decision. It seems to me as though you are quite lucky actually, she gave the ring back. You handled it properly, just keep up the progress and if there are some good lays around, bang them out to make this whole process easier on yourself (abundance).

Good luck.

Scrubpuppy · 2017-05-10T19:04:56+00:00

Can't you block her number?

batoonik · Wed May 10 19:17:24 2017 UTC

Change your ringing tune and notification sounds, if you got messages from her before your brain might connect this sounds with her.

Title	Broken Engagement
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	May 10, 2017 5:00 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6ae2dx/broken_engagement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/broken-engagement.181203 https://theredarchive.com/post/181203

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