Chasing tail after Monk mode...Why does it seem like a waste of time?

KBApprentice · 2016-02-18T07:43:47+00:00

A few things to keep in mind.

You are protecting your ego. Rejection is part of the game.

Women can be a fun distraction, but a relationship should not be your end goal.

Women will take up your time and resources - balance the amount of time and resources versus your enjoyment of being with or around them. If all you want is sex, hire escorts.

It's perfectly all right to want to have sex or relationships with young, attractive women. Keep that in mind.

From the sounds of it, you did will with your stability of your outwards life - taking care of your body, financial security. Now, it may be time to turn inwards - studying hobbies, various social interactions, Game, or dealing with any latent psychological issues. Be resolute, but gentle with yourself - I spent 2 years in semi-monk mode, but was very upset at how little 'on paper' progress I made. Internal progress is difficult to quantify.

ShounenEgo · 2016-02-18T11:26:19+00:00

There are 2 ways to approach any activity in life: Be process oriented or be product oriented.

Example: You might want a job, spent years studying, prepare before the interview, memorize everything, know that you did your best and be satisfied with your performance and still lose the job because the interviewer for one reason or another picked someone else either because he was better than you, because he was friend of a friend who knew someone in the company, because she was a woman and they had the feminist diversity quota to meet (yeah, I know) etc.

The product oriented mentality is outcome dependent. They feel awful and inadequate for losing the job without caring about the reasons.

The process oriented mentality is outcome independent and shows abundance mentality. You realize you can influence the other person (in this case, the interviewer) but you cannot mind control them. You understand that failure is part of life, dust yourself off and move on to one of the many job openings out there. Not enough openings now? Try again tomorrow. All the while you feel satisfied with the fact that you did tried your best, you're in a better place than what you were before all the learning and hard working, and you're alright with yourself.

You can see how this also applies with approaching women.

It's disheartening because I know I can't compete with some of the model guys on there.

News flash: Not only they weren't an exception of the rule "work on yourself and your game" but the truth is, you don't have to compete with them. To fuck a girl, you don't have to be better than a male model, you just have to be better than her available choices. That's like me saying that I'll never reach Schwarzenegger tier of body so why bother lifting or why bother with programming when I'll never become like one of those 12 year old coding geniuses who by 18 they have a job offer from Google.

If you notice yourself putting your efforts down or dishing yourself frequently, you might want to grab a cognitive behavioral therapy book. I'm going through "Feeling good" by David Burns right now and, while it's mostly about depressive people, it really helped me examine self-defeating small talk my brain does when I idle, and those are the pebbles that slowly become a rock wall unless you tackle them.

SoRedSuchAlpha · 2016-02-18T09:22:53+00:00

Disconnect between what you're selling and where you're selling it. Having your own place, steady income, and a stable, balanced personality are very attractive but not visible on Tinder. Know your strengths and choose an arena where they play.

Also, ask yourself if you actually want to date. Is it something you want, but lack the courage to pursue? Or is it something you don't care about but feel that you should?

jcromero · 2016-02-19T00:06:18+00:00

I want to first start off by saying that Game is just an applied subset of what's known as "Social Skills". Improving your game even just by a little bit will improve the rest of your life substantially.

Women are women. You can have sex with them if you want. You can be friends with them if you want. Understand that selling yourself as a lover is a much different game than selling yourself as a friend. The whole point of learning game is learning how to do the former.

Looks are only one dimension of attraction. It's basically the first hoop that you'll have to jump through in order to bed a woman. The rest has to do with:

Taking action and
Fulfilling her fantasy.

Accomplishing either of those is a steep learning curve to get them down just right. Especially if you're trying to bang hot chicks.

Yaboydotcom · 2016-02-18T07:44:47+00:00

You're rusty is all. Read up on some of the game oriented content on the sub and approach women.

You're making excuses to not get laid (mentioning a threat to your ego).

If your 25 and are making over 100k you must have decent judgement - trust yourself

RedAsBlood · 2016-02-18T22:44:13+00:00

Women are worth it. Unless you prefer your own hand to sex. Theres a reason trp exists and a huge part of it is sexual strategy.

Try approaching IRL. Get used to talking to women.

Monk mode is just a buffer to avoid rejection. The only thing it did for you is let you hamster your way into feeling better at the cost of not developing your game.

Read this:

http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/26/buffers/

Chad_Thundercock69 · 2016-02-19T09:04:14+00:00

Hookers

Title	Chasing tail after Monk mode...Why does it seem like a waste of time?
Author	which_way-----------
Upvotes	13
Comments	7
Date	February 18, 2016 6:47 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/46di6s/chasing_tail_after_monk_modewhy_does_it_seem_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/chasing-tail-after-monk-modewhy-does-it-seem-like.160923 https://theredarchive.com/post/160923

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