Commanding Respect in an LTR

Rav_the_slav · 2017-11-28T15:46:22+00:00

The easiest way to lay these fundamental ground rules is at the beginning of the relationship, when you're getting to know each other (talking about your past experiences, expectations, etc. "Oh yeah, I ended my last relationship because my ex thought it was okay to disrespect me by getting wasted at a club") Or, talking about it indirectly "My friend just dumped this girl because, she was texting some other guy "friend" behind his back" and then just go about how you support him and would do the same.

Basically, as the relationship evolves, you will have opportunities to set your boundaries, but most of the time, only once.

MattyAnon · 2017-11-28T22:47:57+00:00

However, I’m having trouble understanding how to lay down ground rules or boundaries without coming off as needy or insecure.

Good. You're aware of the basic dynamics, if not how to solve them.

Boundaries good. Neediness bad.

You won't get it right first time, this needs practice and a few false starts before you get it. It also works best with the right woman, so expect a few to fail. You can't make a silk purse out of a whore.

What is the prescribed method of indirectly asserting “don’t do this” for a man attempting an LTR?

Fundamentally, before this, you need to be the kind of man that says "this is unacceptable" and walks away and stays away for good.

This is the first step, and it's necessary, because women WILL TEST YOU FOR THIS. Also, they sense it. You cannot fake this. There must be a line and if she crosses it, you must be the man who will next her.

THIS CANNOT BE SKIPPED.

Now, the issue is boundaries. You set them. She'll test them. YOU DO NOT REACT,..... but you do set them.

Let's see.. example.... she's rude to you.

You say "don't do that".

She says "you can't tell me what to do".

You say NOTHING. You're thinking of walking away. You pause. You walk. You DO NOT DISCUSS it. At all. Because discussing is losing. Explaining is losing. "Do not do this" followed by NO DISCUSSION is how you get your point across.

She follows your lead, or she fucks off.

It's that simple, and it works great. But you have to accept you'll be walking sometimes.

LeonardoDiDraperBond · 2017-11-28T15:56:26+00:00

Do it covertly. When she does something you don't like, retract attention. When she does something you do like, give her more attention.

I’ve had problems with this in the past during my BP days but am now trying to adopt and learn as many RP principles as possible before getting into another LTR (if I want to, of course).

Learning RP principles works best if can you apply it immediately. Don't fall in the trap of devouring tons of theory without actually applying anything.

ScottDurden · 2017-11-28T21:43:41+00:00

Any girls you have to set boundaries with (i.e. trying to reform a defiant bar slut) is not LTR material.

tenxs · 2017-11-28T18:55:03+00:00

Most of it is prevention by screening for the right girl. By the time you upgrade from non-exclusive plate to exclusive LTR, she should have a very solid idea of your expectations and boundaries. Ideally you would have tested her compliance already mutliple times.

As most guys seem to keep this part short, they are left with setting a lot of boundaries in a LTR. Which is somewhat more annoying because you have to do so covertly.

Whenever she does something wrong, immeadiatly withdraw attention and pull back emotionally. Don't be a passive-agressive bitch though. If she asks what's wrong, don't throw her a snippy "nothing". Clearly tell her what she did to dissappoint you and never DEER. You might piss her off and she becomes annoying for some time, but that's what you get when you don't screen properly.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-11-28T21:49:20+00:00

There are no rules for you to lay down. The girl should know what to do and what not to do in a relationship. That's what her parents were for, they were there to raise her to be a respectable woman. If they failed, no amount if boundaries or rules you set in your relationship will fix her nature. Setting boundaries only makes her pretend to be the girl you want.

Let them dig their own graves, discard accordingly.

accountfortrp · 2017-11-28T23:21:16+00:00

I had this problem with my last ltr, she even asked me if it was okay if she went out to the bars with one of her friends and back then I didn’t know how to say no without coming off in the wrong way. For context it’s in college and she had a fake, so I had problems with it on multiple levels. The best way I’ve found is the passive way described above and mention how if someone did xyz like xyz did you would break up as well or you wouldn’t put up with it

Abeham10 · 2018-02-05T14:44:54+00:00

Will this work in an LTR. Can you gain control and respect after 6 months?

Abeham10 · 2018-02-05T18:18:54+00:00

Is it to late to command respect after a 6 month relationships?

Title	Commanding Respect in an LTR
Author	russian-jewboi
Upvotes	20
Comments	20
Date	November 28, 2017 3:28 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7g4w36/commanding_respect_in_an_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/commanding-respect-in-an-ltr.119112 https://theredarchive.com/post/119112

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