Confused, what to do?

xdesol8x · 2015-04-28T07:36:58+00:00

Oneitis is a bitch isn't it.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-04-28T13:53:27+00:00

Polyamory is widely viewed as a female ploy to cuckold you to your face. It can work to your advantage if you are a player, but generally it's about her spreading all over town and acting like nothing's wrong or unusual.

Normally a bitch will do this and lie about it, but here she's throwing it in your face in front of everyone.

TrapMezziah · 2015-04-28T09:14:13+00:00

Listen man, you can't be letting your girl fuck another guy and not be fucking different women yourself. My advice is you go out and start approaching other girls IMMEDIATELY. If this is an opened relationship, treat it like one. Right now, shes the boss. She is the center of your relationship who has more freedom and you are an orbiter. You saying you don't have a need for more sounds like a beta excuse. Even if you talk it out with her and she stops fucking the other guy, you will never be able to forget... The only way to deal with this is to start fucking other girls, whether shes ok with this or not.

RPmatrix · 2015-04-28T14:06:27+00:00

she actually sounds quite cool,I know a few polyamourous people both male and female, some together others not but I've been totally surprised at how cool they all are with each other (a bunch of them play a sport together with me) and how well all their various LTR's are going, I'm still figuring it out

My super Alpha RP business partner is 14 yrs younger than me at 34 and he's been a part of i but now has this fantastic LT going that he's loving, whilst his his ex LT gf is currently with 2 LT bf's and he 'explained' a whole new 'sexual paradigm' based on open relationships to me a while back when he was in a few,, which really seems to work if everyone agrees on the basic rules ,, of which they are 'personaly arranged' like the OP mentions, and although I still don't quite see how it's going to develop into a cultural thing, but if it does, wow!... and half these guys are prime natural alpha's! Go figure!

As an old cunt, I'm still getting my head around it but it's like nothing I've ever seen before and everyone involved seems SO much happier about ... it

All, that I just don't know as I've yet to try I'm not sure I could, my frame is too well established and it's not open in LTR's for other guys to fuck my girl.

But the way things are now, shit needs changing, TRP's a start but things must change more to allow ourselves the sexual freedoms we desire with condemnation like in much of Europe, if it gets you off and hurts no one else in the process, Go for it!

Both sexes, lets drop the bullshit and stop letting the media n MT^{^V} tells us is how things should be.

FrameWalker · 2015-04-28T18:28:20+00:00

Drop and replace. If you're monogamous, only date people that are. Its too late to make her monogamous, she's not the type.

DarkisKnight · 2015-04-28T20:00:26+00:00

I used to be in "Open Relationships." This was my pre-TRP days so basically plate spinning with PC spin. (side note: the open relationship is a strong frame for spinning plates and disabling the female comittment hamster with PC spin. It's like using the hamster to out hamster the female hamster. Simply awesome.)

But then she comes back and is totally unchanged, gives me a lot of love and sex, her behaviour is unchanged. I don't know how is she able to do this, but she does it, and does it really well.

This is a skill women have that is as old as time. AWALT.

I think you've developed ONEitis and this girl is at best plate material. You should be spinning plates. Demote or soft next and spin more plates. With a plate you don't care if she's fucking other people because it's only sex. You have no emotional investment.

fnordsnord · 2015-04-28T15:11:30+00:00

I practice poly. I have a wife, a girlfriend, and two FWB's I hook up with occasionally. I don't spin plates, but about once a year or so the opportunity for a ONS shows up.

It can work, but it's complicated and a lot of work, and you do spend time feeling like you've been kicked in the nuts, especially at the beginning.

But it has to work for YOU. You don't like the idea that another dude is parking his penis in YOUR space on a regular basis. Most dudes are like that.

She's not going to change her behavior unless you ask her to. Be aware that if you ask her too, the change may well be dropping YOU if she likes the way things are.

Decide if being exclusive is worth breaking up over. Then give her an ultimatum. Or get used to is and date other girls.

Title	Confused, what to do?
Author	tranquillum
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	April 28, 2015 7:24 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/344od4/confused_what_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/confused-what-to-do.148398 https://theredarchive.com/post/148398

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