Couldn't get it up

SubstantialBeanBoi · 2019-03-28T21:39:42+00:00

dooooh thats a tuffy pal, but it sounds like you had performance anxiety. If she's hot, you felt intimidated, drank alcohol, had a negative thought loop going, then yea its entirely possible.

alittletoosmooth · 2019-03-28T22:15:28+00:00

Probably all in your head due to length of time since last fuck. Performance anxiety. It happens to a lot of ppl. Don't beat yourself up about it. You can still salvage this. Next time don't make such a big deal about it. If you want just acknowledge it,"hey not sure what's going on, this hasn't happened before" and just take it easy. Your life depends less on the things that happen to you, more on the way you react to them.

Willkuer_ · 2019-03-28T22:52:11+00:00

As others said performance anxiety in combination with a negative loop. You are under some stress because it‘s been a long time and it doesn‘t work out. You panic and now for sure it doesn‘t work out.

Get over it. Happens to the best of us. Can happen several times. Can become worse before it gets better. Is temporarily healed by viagra so consider to go to an urologist. Tell him performance anxiety and he‘ll give it to you.

As others said. Stop playing with yourself for now. Masturbation is not going to make it better.

Rkingpin · 2019-03-28T22:12:44+00:00

I feel like a parrot telling guys here to quit the porn and jerking off

You guys are desensitising yourself to real sex with all that HD unrealistic porno.

Your conditioning yourself to fuck pixels not real pussy and this is what happens.

No porn, beat the "flatline" and report back

SolidLiquidGasPlasma · 2019-03-28T22:03:18+00:00

5 words for you. “Shove that shit in there”

RedSkeller · 2019-03-28T21:38:16+00:00

Dude I straight up gave this one girl from tinder the worst dick imaginable and got her to come back 3 more times. Most women will give you the benefit of the doubt for at least a round 2. You got a party coming up so figure out what's going to get you hard and prepare to throw down accordingly. Have no shame in your dick game, gets you no where.

[deleted] · 2019-03-28T23:46:10+00:00

Take little blue pill.

Go to party.

Redeem yourself.

Friendly_Friends · 2019-03-28T23:47:38+00:00

As a guy at 40, I can tell you I went from hardcore sex addict, instaboner if even a 5 brushed up against me to about 4 long years of some serious ED. That didn’t stop me from spinning plates and pulling one nighters. It DID kill off 2 LTRs with very attractive women, but my current LTR has made me realize that it was the past LTRs’ own conditions and criticisms about sex that just fostered more internal anxiety and made it impossible for me to have or maintain a solid erection (for example “you have to finger me in this one spot. No, not there, there, and I won’t get wet if you don’t do it right, so it will only hurt if you put it in. And, I don’t get off from penetration”). Realize, though, that this was pre-TRP, and I still had a habit of trying to please women and place them on a pedestal. Further, I was doing a PhD and working full time, and under intense external pressure to succeed.

Now the program is over and my current LTR is very RP-compatible, understanding of performance issues, and doesn’t care because she practically worships my cultivated alpha persona. Because of her and a careful regimen of exercise and supplement cycling, I don’t struggle to get it up much at all now. She’s a fun and bubbly partner, but from a conservative upbringing, which means she shows a lot of loyalty.

It might be that you just need to find the right partner for a while, who is open minded and aware of the physical issues both men and women can go through. That might boost your comfort and lessen your anxiety. And yes, it can transfer to other women and situations, because before I changed her from plate to LTR, I was spinning 3 other plates shortly after meeting her, and getting it up every time. I just decided that I didn’t have time for juggling because of work and such, and narrowed down to this one chick who has outdone the rest of them. Good luck, and realize it is 99.9999% not a permanent thing.

TigerTamingSword · 2019-03-29T00:47:24+00:00

It's impossible to know what's wrong with your dick from your post alone. Multiple factors could be at play. Has this ever happened to you before? Do you have any disease or take any medication? Experiencing depression, anxiety or stress lately? How's your diet? Are you exercising? Drinking a lot (whiskey dick syndrome)? Do you watch excessive amounts of porn? Any of these could compromise your hability to get and keep it up. Or maybe you're simply not into the chick and your inability to get hard is your subconscious pointing out a problem in the relationship - people used to call it "dick wisdom".

However, here's what I can offer you:

Do Kegel exercises. They'll help your attain a rock hard erection and retain semen, thus allowing you to keep going for longer durations. If you're willing to go further into this kind of exercises, look into taoist sexual practices.
There are herbal formulas that improve your circulation and get your horny like a teenager. I've been experimented with a mixture of korean ginseng, marapuama, catuaba and tribulus terrestris, in a 3:1:1:1 mixture, respectively. Take a teaspoon along with a cup of water containing propolis (in non-alcoholic solution) each morning before breakfast. If you want to make the formula more geared towards your sexual problems, increase de amount of tribulus terrestris; I started using it in order to increase my gym gains (supposedly, tribulus terrestris increases the amount of dihydrotestosterone), but all it did was make me horny like a 14 year old, to the point it was interfering with my daily bussiness. BE CAREFUL THO, as these herbs can have considerable side effects, like impairing blood coagulation and increasing blood pressure (in the case of korean ginseng). If you're healthy, you should be good to go.

Hope it helps.

Edit: as for going to the party, who knows. I'd be self conscious as fuck, to be honest, but maybe it could be your opportunity to practice frame and IDGAF attitude. I don't think you should have told her to leave like that, but simply laugh it off and say you're dead ass tired or whatever. But the past is the past. I say you should risk attending the party and acting like nothing happened. What do you stand to lose?

brooklynbooked · 2019-03-29T17:45:44+00:00

No big deal. Anyone that has been around the block has had this happen to them. The worst thing you could do is make it seem like a big deal and start apologizing. I usually say something like, "oh, looks like he doesn't like you", with a smile on my face. It eases the tension and makes her want to work harder to get it up.

CockyAndHot · 2019-03-28T21:42:22+00:00

There’s nothing this sub can tell you that will ensure you being rock hard - at least I hope not

Title	Couldn't get it up
Author	Mqlskdjfhg
Upvotes	3
Comments	20
Date	March 28, 2019 9:35 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b6oohe/couldnt_get_it_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/couldnt-get-it-up.223593 https://theredarchive.com/post/223593

Comments