Cutting out low quality friends

embracingtheredpill · 2019-08-31T23:28:45+00:00

There is nobody who has not been through this situation, on their way up.

The first thing I'll tell you is you're the sum total of the people around you. My whole life changed when I started spending time with people who had abundance vs those who had scarcity mentalities.

The second thing I'll tell you is its not quite binary. Life is long. And complicated. As I get older, I see the same cast of characters again and again in my life, getting on and getting off at different stages, entering and exiting my life in different contexts. Professionally, you'll find this often. People you went to school with are people who'll be your network, your competitors, you co-workers, your bosses and collaborators and so on.

The point I'm making is you never really cut out a person. You just stop interacting with them less and less as you start interacting with other people more and more. This brings me to my third point, go out and do things. Do things. Go to the gym, the library, the hottest clubs and restaurants. Go to the docks, plays, the park, outside. Play sports, join a club. Go where high value people go. Develop a new friend circle. It's not about removing but more about regulating the people in your life and the time and attention they get.

fanartaltmanfartsalt · 2019-09-01T01:04:30+00:00

One of the hardest things I ever did was cut out a 15 year friendship after outgrowing him. Dude was insecure, always seeking to undermine the progress of others, very much a huge white knight and had the political leanings of a soaking wet towel.

Still, by far the funniest person I've ever met and no one ever made me laugh as hard. Sucked to give him up, but I got to a stage where he simply didn't fit in my life.

Sad_Sleeper · 2019-09-01T09:07:26+00:00

I've cut my old friends 3 years ago. Best decision in my life. They were constantly playing league of legends and getting high. The were toxic, hating nonstop. One of them decided to hate on me and how i will be virgin forever etc. I ghosted them and it is much better now.

misls · 2019-09-01T01:41:28+00:00

Anyone been through this situation?

Yup, got jumped by them as a result. Crabs in a bucket analogy, only realized it when I dropped them.

Zero-Milk · 2019-09-01T03:52:49+00:00

You may drift apart from your mates, but you're only an asshole when you purposefully sever those ties entirely. There's no shame in adding to your social network and nurturing the relationships that fulfill you the most. It will all work itself out naturally if you do it that way.

its4thecatlol · 2019-09-01T01:19:08+00:00

All my neighborhood friends from my late teens and early 20s are junkies and dope dealers. My friends from high school are mostly bankers, consultants, engineers, or doctors. I chose the streets. Guess which group hit me up more?

As I got more successful, when my life didn't revolve around coke and dope anymore, I met more guys just like me. The friends who faded away came back to me once they saw I was living my life differently. You're the average of your 5 closest friends. I'm happy with the 5 I chose. They're a diverse bunch, and even the one remaining addict adds a lot of value. You'd never know what he really does when everyone goes home.

I've seen people go from being hopeless addicts to working at a hedge fund. I've also seen the reverse. People evolve. It's well worth it to nurture your close friendships with a FB chat, text message, or bar run every now and again. Just be selective about who you're spending your free time with regularly. Stick with people who are on a similar path as you, and switch lanes when you have to.

Title	Cutting out low quality friends
Author	cawkedup
Upvotes	27
Comments	14
Date	August 31, 2019 11:19 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cy2jda/cutting_out_low_quality_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/cutting-out-low-quality-friends.251787 https://theredarchive.com/post/251787

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